Painted Eggs
By Fayjay
 

SUMMARY: Spike & Dru hit Prague. (Set pre-Sunnydale.) Easter eggs, ballet and
blood  just your average vampire vacation.
SPOILERS: Nope.
CONTENT/WARNINGS: A little sex, a little blood. No chocolate.
RATING: NC17. (Slash)
DISCLAIMER: I am not now, nor have I ever been, Numfar. Not even a little bit. The
characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, Sandollar, and David
Greenwalt Productions, 20th Century Fox, and whoever else may have a hold upon them.
The situation is wholly mine, and I do not mean to infringe upon any copyrights
COMMENTS: Thanks as always to Herself & Spike's Bitches for their support.
 
 
 
The first time he set eyes on her she took his breath away. After more than a century
spent travelling the globe by starlight in her company, Drusilla was still the absolute centre
of his universe.
 
                                     * * *
 
Time here - as everywhere - had wrought its changes, but in Prague these changes felt
fewer and less substantial than in other capitals. The pastel shadowed alleys still curved
into one another like the curlicues of an Alphonse Mucha maiden's tresses and many of
the buildings' facades retained their antique grandeur, or had been charmingly restored;
but in the few years since the Velvet Revolution Coca Cola signs had blossomed on
every street and the ubiquitous McDonalds wrappers were starting to rustle underfoot.
 
Which was fine and dandy as far as Spike was concerned. Where McDonalds went,
sleek and vulnerable western backpackers were sure to follow  fresh-faced and reckless
and ripe for the picking.
 
After all the harum-scarum fun of the Balkans, Spike was thoroughly enjoying the Central
European tourist boom. He hadn't thought it was possible to tire of war-torn cities, but
after a few years of feasting in the former Yugoslavia and its environs (they had avoided
Romania by mutual consent without ever mentioning Angelus) it had actually started to
pale. Spike loved carnage as much as the next vamp, but eventually he had reached the
conclusion that it wasn't nearly so much fun breaking things that were already broken.
Besides, even in the dark he'd been hit by entirely too many bloody snipers; and
although he always made a point of finding the bastards and breaking their fingers one by
one before he ate them, the bullets still stung.
 
"Bugger this for a game of soldiers," he'd finally decided; and his princess was inclined
to agree. The tremulous prosperity of Prague seemed suddenly very tempting; and so
here they were, having wended their way gradually through the High Tatras mountains
and taken a circuitous route to the capital, stopping off to peer at the mummified monks
in Brno and drink a few brewers in Pilsen. By the time they had reached Bohemia it was
a few days shy of Easter.
 
The rural Czechs, it transpired, had a charming tradition of beating their womenfolk with
wands of braided birch Îfor fertility' in exchange for hand-painted eggs; this struck Dru as
infinitely more fun than gorging on glisteningly wrapped chocolates and for several weeks
the papers were full of horrified headlines accompanying blurry photographs of her
leftovers. She collected the hollow eggs  brittle shells brightly wrought in delicate blues
and reds - and carried them tenderly with her when they travelled, swaddled in layer upon
layer of tissue paper and tucked into the top of her anachronistic valise.
 
"Their mummy didn't look after them, did she? But I'll care for them, Spike. I'll keep
them safe and warm until they hatch into something strange and wondrous, something
fine and fluttering to sing me sweet, sad songs."
 
He forbore to point out that they would inevitably be crushed to a rainbow of powder
before long; and that no matter what love she lavished upon them they would never quiver
and quicken into life. He was not one to interfere with his darling's amusements,
whatever fleeting form they might take.
 
                                     * * *
 
It seemed to Spike when they stepped out of the train station that the city was slightly
seedier these days  there might be shinier shop-fronts and better quality clothes, but
there was also an edge of despair that was new. With the social support structure gone,
more people were slipping through the cracks into poverty and prostitution and it would
be easy for a smiling Englishman  or something that looked like one  to find pretty little
creatures who would never be missed.
 
He really couldn't have asked for a finer holiday spot.
 
                                     * * *
 
ÎCoppelia' had not been Spike's preferred choice of entertainment for their first night in
town  ballet *really* wasn't his cup of tea  but once she'd seen the poster his girl had
her cold heart set on it. They relieved an affluent couple of their purses, pulses and house
keys on the threshold of a convenient apartment with practiced ease; Spike swiftly
stowed their baggage and the cooling corpses in their new accommodation, then off to
the ballet they went.
 
The crowd outside the National Theatre was mostly made up of tourists, but there were
also a fair number of middle class Czechs there to enjoy the occasion. Spike stalked
through the crowd like Moses parting the Red Sea  had Moses been fond of black
leather and peroxide  and Drusilla padded in his wake, deceptively fragile in her
outmoded muslin frock. Queues, in Spike's opinion, were something that happened to
other people; and although this view was not initially shared by the ballet-lovers lining up
he glowered them into grudging silence, pulled out a stack of bills with panache and
bought his beloved the finest box in the house.
 
                                     * * *
 
The smell of crowds was always a little intoxicating. Spike fidgeted in his seat, his gaze
drawn down towards the warm bodies gathered in the stalls, busy shrugging out of
jackets and scanning their programmes with no notion that they were being assessed
from on high with such predatory intent. Drusilla, who had brought Miss Edith to watch the
pretty ladies, ran her fingertips over the dusty brocade and elaborate woodwork and
turned to beam at him, dreamy-eyed. Mad as a March hare, his Dru, but he loved her
beyond all power to express it. She was Shakespeare's dark lady, her eyes nothing like
the sun; she was Beatrice and Roxanne and Ophelia and Alice in Wonderland rolled into
one, with her lips red as blood and her skin as white as snow.
 
She was also, regrettably, going to make him sit and watch a sodding ballet when there
were countless far more exciting things a body could be doing in this unsuspecting city.
 
The lights grew dim, the audience hushed, the musicians struck up and at last the curtains
rose. Spike was pleasantly surprised, but before long his attention started to drift away
from the stage - where a cheery little variation on the Pygmalion myth was being enacted
 to eye the unwary men and women hungrily. He was intrigued to discover, after several
moments spent scanning arched necks and exposed wrists, that he was himself being
regarded with blatant interest by a dark-bearded fellow with shoulder-length hair seated
alone in the box opposite. A man of 30ish or thereabouts, broad shouldered, enticingly
solid and blessed with the countenance of Correggio's Christ - doe-eyed and wounded
and ripe for corruption; and he was gazing at Spike with an unmistakable expression of
invitation on his foolish human face.
 
At his side Dru sat entranced, her eyes shining and her lips slightly parted. Her sporadic
bursts of applause and improvised snatches of song were greeted with some very
disapproving glares from the rest of the audience. Spike flicked two fingers at them.
Glancing back over at his admirer he found Beardy was grinning; and Spike rewarded
him with a slow smile of such wicked promise that the other man was on his feet and
heading for the door in seconds.
 
"He's in love with a *dolly*, Spike," Dru said in a carrying voice, pointing towards the
stage. "Imagine if some silly man fell in love with Miss Edith!"
 
"Now that would never do, pet," he replied. Spike leaned forwards, brushing his face
against the familiar curtain of her hair and inhaling her scent before planting a quick kiss
on the stem of her throat.
 
"I'm just going to pop out for a drink, love. Can I get you anything?"
 
                                     * * *
 
His new chum was standing at a urinal with his semi-erect cock in his hand when Spike
breezed into the gents. The mirror thing was sometimes problematic in these situations,
but all one really had to do was keep their eyes shoved in your face, your belly button or
the wall. Spike was good at that.
 
Beardy glanced over his shoulder and met Spike's gaze in silence. Czech, Spike was
reasonably sure, but he really couldn't be bothered ascertaining the provenance of his
snack; the man's glistening, hungry eyes told their own story as he turned around. Not
bad. Circumcised, which probably meant Jewish  Spike hadn't seen a circumcised
cock for quite a while and grinned at the poor bald naked thing. (Odd notion, letting
someone near your John Thomas with a knife.)
 
He crossed the space between them in a couple of easy strides and clasped the man's
eager todger in his cool and practiced grip. Beardy gasped slightly, the glimpsed wet
hollow of his mouth glistening darkly in the artificial light; and then he leaned in to wrap
himself around the vampire, hands slipping under the leather duster to grip Spike's ass.
His brown eyes were liquid and vulnerable, full of urgent lust. Perfect. Spike grabbed the
nape of his neck and jammed his tongue deep between the full lips nestled amidst the
soft bristles of beard, tasting beer and cigarettes. It was a while since he'd kissed one
with a beard, and the soft scratchiness against his skin slightly reminded Spike of the
curls shrouding his darling girl's sweet cunny.
 
God, human mouths were so marvellously hot. . . Spike thought about biting through the
soft flesh of the living tongue and drinking him where he stood, but that would answer only
one of his cravings. The engorged cock he held was hot and wet and standing to
attention like a good Îun as Spike fucked it efficiently with his hand. Beardy moaned into
his mouth and Spike felt himself grinning slightly as he nipped the base and held it firmly
for a moment; didn't want the little darling spilling on his jeans. He shoved the fellow back
against the wall, releasing the rosy column of flesh, and quickly unbuckled his own belt,
yanked down his fly and shrugged the jeans a little way off his hips. Beardy's eyes were
glued to the vampire's prick and he reached for it enthusiastically, but Spike was having
none of that.
 
"On your knees, chum," he said in English, shoving the man's shoulders down brutally to
overcome any problematic language barriers. The tiled floor may have hurt when it
slammed into his knees, but Beardy didn't seem to mind; and when Spike seized a
handful of his dark mane and dragged his face forward the man impaled his wet mouth
on the vampire's prick willingly enough. After the first few dozen thrusts, however, Spike
felt some attempt at resistance; evidently deep throat wasn't one of the man's more
cherished hobbies. The vampire knotted both hands in the human's curls and slammed
in up to the hilt, relishing the panicked beat of the pulse quivering through the slick tongue
on his knob and the tickle of snorted breaths blowing into his curls. He glanced down at
the Czech's flushed face and met pained entreaty in the wet, puppydog eyes. Now that
was definitely more like it. Spike's outstretched arms framed the luscious little image of
his own slick shaft sliding swiftly back and forth between the man's taut lips, his own
coarse auburn hair grinding into the human's moustache. Not so saintly-looking now. He
redoubled his speed, shoving into the hot flesh with bruising force, and after a while he
was delighted to find his conquest beginning to weep. The hot salt splash of tears on his
thrumming erection was what finally sent him and he jammed the man's trembling head
forward as he came, shivering as the throat muscles contracted convulsively around his
cock.
 
"There's a good fellow," Spike said a little hoarsely, "you drink it all down. It's good for
you, pet."
 
There was a tiny pause and then Spike tugged the man's head back. His penis slid out
with a messy sound. Whimsically he circled his hips, rubbing up against the human's
astonished face and enjoying the contrasting textures of swollen lips and prickly beard
upon his skin before dropping his prize down onto the tiles. He stepped backwards,
regarding the slumped human thoughtfully as he fondled his deflating knob.
 
After a moment or two the dishevelled Czech stumbled to his feet, one hand brushing
absently at his mouth; and his disregarded penis waved around miserably. He looked like
he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and then fucked by a passing farmer.
 
It was a look Spike was rather partial to.
 
The man's angry words petered to a halt as he took in the resurrection of Spike's cock;
he jaw visibly dropped and he stared at the vampire in open disbelief. Spike grinned.
 
"Perks of the job, mate," he said, slipping into game face. "We're just getting started. I
*really* don't care for ballet."
 
                                     * * *
 
Such was Drusilla's enjoyment of the show that she decided against eating the prima
ballerina. During the second half of the performance Dru's comments and singing had
attracted the irate attention of most of the audience. Spike, fresh from his repast, briskly
snapped the necks of the attendants who ventured into their box to protest; but he did it
discreetly, so as not to break his girl's concentration on the dancing, and propped their
bodies out of the way of prying eyes.
 
Daria Klimentova had no inkling of how precarious her position really was as she
quivered across the stage on pointe. Jana and Tomas, whose roles had inspired less
admiration, were not so fortunate. They were presently bobbing in the shallows under the
Charles Bridge, quite oblivious to the pristine drift of swans paddling serenely past their
noses. The dancers' non-appearance at the theatre the following day would provoke a
frenzy of indignant backstage gossip and character-assassination long after their hearts
had fluttered into stillness.
 
The dainty ballet pumps Dru was wearing were a souvenir, their satin pallor misted with
only the finest spray of blood. She was itching to try them out.
 
"We have to waltz, Spike!" Her little frown was so earnest that he wanted to pick her up
and kiss her into smiling.
 
"Your whim is my command, my sweet," he said solemnly instead; and without further
ado Spike laced his fingers with hers, clasped one of her sharp little hips firmly with the
other hand and whirled her over the cobbles.
 
Dru's cream coloured skirts flew out behind her in the delicate arc that he knew so well
and Spike found himself smiling after all; his girl had washed her hands of fashion when
the hemlines started edging above the ankles. Much as Spike had enjoyed the gradually
receding tide of fabric that surrounded them over the years, offering up the dimpled
knees and slender thighs of countless strangers to his gaze, still he adored her
out-moded primness far more than any wanton display of anonymous flesh.
 
If Drusilla wanted to waltz, then waltz she should.
 
They swept along the Charles Bridge at a stately pace, earning applause from the other
scattered late-night wanderers who were out enjoying Prague by moonlight. Before them
the stacked roofs of the shops and houses of the Mala Strana were lit by countless lights,
pulling the eye up Nerudova hill. At its peak the haloed Castle perched above the city like
a Grimm brothers' illustration.
 
For the thousandth time Spike rejoiced in electricity. There were circumstances in which
candlelight and indeed gaslight were ideal, but in his opinion eternity had improved
greatly once electricity became widespread. Easier access to cold beer, for one thing;
and of course the electric guitar; but there was also the chance to see architecture that
had been lost to him for so many years suddenly floodlit for the sheer hell of it. Who
needed the sun?
 
When they were half-way across, Dru's fingers dug into his black leather shoulder and he
quirked a quizzical eyebrow at her. "Faster!" she said imperiously; and Spike's fond
smile broadened.
 
"That's my girl."
 
Their dignified waltz quickly degenerated into a polka - Spike's steel-capped boots
always avoiding her satin toes - and soon they were spinning across the river Vltava in a
giddy whirligig of swirling black coat tails and pale, billowing skirts. Drusilla giggled
irrepressibly in his embrace, cleaving to his body, clutching Miss Edith and flinging back
her head to let the black streamers of her hair fan out behind her in the evening air.
 
 

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