Absolution

by Salieri


Summary: What was the trigger for Angel's moment of absolute happiness?  Buffy/Angel, during Surprise.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss Whedon and the ME writers.
Completed: February 2005
 

 

Buffy is flushed and warm where she's curled up next to him, and he slides his hand from the curve of her hip to the swell of her breast. She opens her eyes and smiles -- so wide open to him, every last bit of her -- and his heart swells. He cups his hand over her breast, thumb on her nipple, and she shivers and moans. She's sticky and sated, and he can't resist nuzzling into her neck to lick away the drying sweat.

"Good?" he asks, and she nods sleepily.

"Better than good," she says shyly, and he thinks his face might break from the force of his grin. With a graceful stretch she slides up to straddle him, winding her arms around his neck while he cups her ass in his hands. He cocks his eyebrow at her.

"Something you want?" he asks, and she nods with a coy smile.

"I have something to give you."

"Is that right?" He kisses her neck, delighted when she shivers again. "You've already given me so much."

"I'm not finished yet," she says, pushing his head back and holding his hands firmly at his sides. He lets her handle him how she wants, and when she's satisfied that he'll stay put, she places her hands over his heart. "Are you listening?" she asks. "Because this is important, and I don't want you to miss it."

"Yeah," he says hoarsely. He focuses on her eyes, so wide and dark in her face.

"Absolvo te a peccatis tuis," she breathes, leaning in to kiss his eyelids. His heart clenches and he's afraid that he's about to cry, because she's so perfect, giving him everything he's ever wanted and never deserved.

Her hands against his chest are burning hot, and he's afraid he might combust. A light emerges from where she's touching him. He has to shut his eyes against the glow, and oh God, he can feel it throughout his entire body. He blinks his eyes open in order to see her face, and for the first time in over two hundred years he can see himself, reflected in her wide and shining eyes. And for the first time ever in his entire existence, what he sees is beautiful.

"My soul?" he asks, and she nods. "I can feel it," he says in wonder. "It's really there."

"Yes," she says softly. "I see you. I've always seen you." Her hands have increased their pressure against his chest, and her strong little fingers are digging into the muscle above his heart.

"Let me hold it for you," she whispers. "Just for a little while."

As she pulls away, the glow comes with her. Her cupped hands encircle some bright, shining thing, and he instinctively knows that it is infinitely precious. She curls her hands around it, the welling light making her fingers translucent. She leans in to press a last, sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I love you," she murmurs. "I will always love you."

"I love you too," he gasps, unable to take his eyes from her face. The glow from her hands has expanded to encompass her entire body, setting her alight from the inside. He's looking at the heaven he never thought he'd see, and he struggles to keep from blinking in the fierce glow. She smiles gently, and yet there is so much sadness in her face that it breaks his heart.

"Close your eyes," she whispers.

After one last look, he obediently shuts his eyes. He's unprepared for the agony that explodes in his chest, and he looks down to see a sword protruding from his heart.

Angel jerks awake and sits bolt upright, gasping and clutching his chest. Buffy is curled up next to him, sleeping soundly. The burning in his heart is stronger than ever, and a wild sense of freedom is growing stronger inside him. For one brief, shining moment, he's convinced that her love for him has wrought a miracle, and a Deo gratias almost bursts forth. But as the guilt fades, the panic sets in. This isn't right, he has time to think. He can feel himself slipping away, and as his soul takes flight, the room around him begins to waver and shimmer. As it fades, he sees a faint figure standing next to the bed, growing firmer and more solid by the second. At first, he thinks it's Buffy, but he soon realizes that he's looking at a demon, the face of his own damnation. The mouth is twisted in a welcoming smile.

"There's my boy."

 

THE END

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