cradle 2 the grave
do you like action movies that set your heart racing with adrenaline?
...fight scenes that take your breath away with their balletic grace?
...characters who seem real, people you can identify with and root for?
...an engrossing story that makes two hours pass in the blink of an eye?
then avoid cradle 2 the grave like a smallpox-tainted blanket.
it wasn't jet li's wooden acting or ridiculous nouveau bruce li haircut. it wasn't the eye-rolling implausibility of the plot (if you could actually call it that). it wasn't the butchered editing job that robbed the fight scenes of every last nanoparticle of excitement.
okay, okay, it was all those things. but it was also the sappy save-the-big-eyed-child angle. it was the super-suave gang of international scumbags, all with healthy white american teeth and good tailors. it was the soundtrack that featured as its stirring love theme a moving little ditty called "nigga please."
but wait! there's more! two words: tom arnold.
how could i pick just one reason to hate it?
update: i forgot to mention the part where jet li picks up a midget and uses him as a cudgel.
yes, really.
Comments
You could write a review of the Steve Martin-Queen Latiffah movie without even seeing it. She is black ,(and never lets you forget it),and he is white (ditto)_.
meet accidentally, hilarity ensues
They think.
There is an epileptic joke, fat lady dancing, and Queen hits Steve in the crotch.
Nuf said?
Posted by: auntb | March 15, 2003 03:32 PM