finally, a war for the rest of us
a lot of the snow has melted from our front yard (only to be covered later today, i fear, by the 6-10" of snow the weather report is promising). every warm and sunny day, the crust receded a little bit. yesterday the melt revealed utter devastation at the hands of the wily and brutal terrorist organization, mole qaeda.
it's much worse this year than it has been in springs past. last summer i went on the warpath and did everything i could to reduce the population of grubs, the moles' favorite plump and wriggly snack. i dug up the rosebushes, which harbor japanese beetles (which is what grubs become when they grow up, if they drink their milk and eat allll their grass roots). i impregnated the ground with milky spore, a bacterium that likes nothing better than to invade grubs and digest them from within. (can you tell i have a taste for grub death at this point?) and i treated the lawn with grub poison. this should tell you how determined i was; i almost never use poisons or insecticides in the yard.
my theory is that some of what i did is working. it looks like the moles have had to hunt much harder for grub snacks. unfortunately, until they get the message that the salad bar is closed, i fear i'm in for more furrows. last year i asked mom what she did about moles in her lawn. she said, "i walk around the yard, stomping down their burrows, feeling diabolical."
get me my mud boots. operation stomp and awe is about to begin. if it doesn't work, that's okay; i'll just say it was tommy franks' plan all along.
exhibit a
exhibit b
exhibit c, a closeup of the view in picture b. it looks like the moles used a goddamn rototiller.
Comments
Wow. I only found one subway entrance in my yard, but you know what the birds did last year in their quest for grubs. Now I'm a-scared.
Posted by: terry | March 30, 2003 11:15 AM
That is awful. Looks like an ant form outside.
Good luck.
Posted by: auntb | March 30, 2003 01:19 PM
I laughed until my sides hurt -- only 'cause I've
been there myself. I'm only sorry that I didn't
have a war to blame it on. And remember, this too
shall pass.
Posted by: yr maw | March 31, 2003 01:52 PM
Whatever you do, don't use Japanese beetle traps. They do a good job of trapping the bugs, but their pheromone bait has roughly the same effect on beetles as a big sign reading "LIVE NAKED CHICKS" posted across from your local high school.
Posted by: paul | April 1, 2003 01:00 PM