the most important meal of the day
enjoy swanson's new hungry man all day breakfast. it's chock-full of...well, of...
...the kind of odor that had me preparing to lift the wallet off the four-week-old corpse I was about to find. But this stench! This stench was no corpse! This stench was breakfast!
yes, this breakfast includes bacon, sausage, pancakes, home fries, and eggs:
I'm a little biased because I fear eggs in general, but I've certainly seen enough of them to know that these eggs have some serious issues. I'd like to sit down with the eggs - I'd like to discuss these issues with them. I feel I can offer some newfound hope to these poor eggs, which even while next to sausagey dog shit, still manage to look creepy. I wish the eggs would listen to me, talk to me, but my prayers fall on deaf ears. I still pity the eggs despite their noncommunication, because but for a slight twist of fate, they could've clucked and eaten seeds. Now they live in my lid-shut trash can, a realm as dark as their unforgiving hearts.
has swanson no shame? apparently not:
Swanson never has any misgivings. They're totally misgivingless. I think they need a few misgivings.
Comments
Aside from the bacon, that meal didn't look too bad. The eggs could have used some cheese though.
Posted by: Tim | May 9, 2003 11:37 AM
that. is. not. food.
Posted by: terry | May 9, 2003 02:44 PM
that is quite horrific. and of course, the next time i go grocery shopping i will seek out this montrosity to see that nutrition label in the flesh...
Posted by: brandt | May 9, 2003 03:40 PM