please buy me this
it is impossible to describe how nerve-wracking it was to look at cribs this weekend — in fact, even entering the baby store made me break out in a cold sweat and something suspiciously close to diaper rash.
rather than venture near the baby store again for furnishings, i am constructing a wish list online. won't you offer your input?
cribs
...for the baby who likes to go fly fishing, though how you get hip waders on someone who can't walk, i'm sure i don't know
...for the baby who hunts big game, prowling across the savannah in his tiny custom-built hummer
...for the baby whose mother loses an eye every time she bends over to pick him up
linens
...for any baby born in a french whorehouse
...for the baby who neatly makes her bed every day of the year, and then helpfully scooches down the hall to make mine
...for the baby who makes more money than i do
big-kid bed
...for either a girl, a boy, or a rabbit
playhouse
i've decided the kid can have our house. i'm moving in here.
Comments
welcome back to the blogosphere! make you a deal - I will buy your kid the barbi french whore dream bedroom if you get my kid the corvette he is drooling over.
Posted by: alan | October 13, 2004 08:50 AM
Wow! Some of those linens would really be enhanced by a few gobs of strategically placed baby butter.
If you think shopping for this stuff is scary (and/or enervating), wait 'til you start looking at strollers and car seats!
Posted by: paul^2 | October 13, 2004 09:14 AM
does K-Mart have a web site?
Posted by: auntb | October 13, 2004 09:14 AM
let's let all the kids kill each other in the big house (think lord of the flies) and we can live quietly in the playhouse together, eating risotto and watching tivo.
Posted by: terry | October 13, 2004 11:42 AM
Congrats on the soon-to-be addition to your family. I had no idea children's furniture could be so expensive and tacky at the same time. Good luck picking everything out.
Posted by: Reader | October 13, 2004 11:51 AM
So glad to see you back again! Envision anything you want to buy covered in baby effluvia at 3 am and reconsider how precious you want to be...
If you like, I can send you a link to $300 diaper bags...
Posted by: Cori | October 13, 2004 02:57 PM
Oh but did you see the butterfly armoire? It's so pretty!
Posted by: cheryl b. | October 13, 2004 03:50 PM
I' build you one. Just describe what you want.
Love,
YoDaddy
Posted by: yo'daddy | October 16, 2004 08:21 AM