happy birthday, mom!
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January 30, 2004
January 26, 2004
oh boy oh boy oh boy!
today i found this in the snow by the mailbox:
so if there's anything you like that's in danger of being cancelled, let me know and i'll do my best to sway the networks. i am that powerful.
January 23, 2004
singalong (dirty lyrics provided)
over at terry's blog she talked about ann miller. my favorite ann miller movie bar none is kiss me, kate. let us all join in a lusty rendition of "brush up your shakespeare," shall we?
Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And the women you will wow.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few lines from Othella,
And they'll think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er,
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer.
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing...
What are clothes? Much Ado About Nussing!
Brush up your Shakespeare,
And they'll all kowtow.
With the wife of the British ambessida,
Try a crack out of Troilus and Cressida.
If she says she won't buy it or tike it.
Make her tike it, what's more, As You Like It.
If she says your behavior is heinous,
Kick her right in the Coriolanus.
Brush up your Shakespeare,
And they'll all kowtow.
If you can't be a ham and do Hamlet,
They will not give a damn or a damnlet.
Just recite an occasional sonnet,
And your lap'll have honey upon it.
When your baby is pleading for pleasure,
Let her sample your Measure For Measure.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.
Better mention The Merchant Of Venice
When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace.
If her virtue, at first, she defends — well,
Just remind her that All's Well That Ends Well!
And if still she won't give you a bonus,
You know what Venus got from Adonis!
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.
it's all so very clear
all of a sudden i get it! the economy's not in bad shape because of congress and the president; it's in bad shape because the members of the press won't eat barbecue!
an excerpt from remarks bush made to the press pool at a restaurant stop in new mexico:
THE PRESIDENT: I need some ribs.
Q Mr. President, how are you?
THE PRESIDENT: I'm hungry and I'm going to order some ribs.
Q Sir, on homeland security, critics would say you simply haven't spent enough to keep the country secure.
THE PRESIDENT: My job is to secure the homeland and that's exactly what we're going to do. But I'm here to take somebody's order. That would be you, Stretch -- what would you like? Put some of your high-priced money right here to try to help the local economy. You get paid a lot of money, you ought to be buying some food here. It's part of how the economy grows. You've got plenty of money in your pocket, and when you spend it, it drives the economy forward. So what would you like to eat?
[...]
THE PRESIDENT: I'm ordering ribs. David, do you need a rib?
Q But Mr. President --
THE PRESIDENT: Stretch, thank you, this is not a press conference. This is my chance to help this lady put some money in her pocket. Let me explain how the economy works. When you spend money to buy food it helps this lady's business. It makes it more likely somebody is going to find work. So instead of asking questions, answer mine: are you going to buy some food?
Q Yes.
THE PRESIDENT: Okay, good. What would you like?
Q Ribs.
THE PRESIDENT: Ribs? Good. Let's order up some ribs.
[...]
THE PRESIDENT: See, his job is to ask questions, he thinks my job is to answer every question he asks. I'm here to help this restaurant by buying some food. Terry, would you like something?
Q An answer.
Q Can we buy some questions?
THE PRESIDENT: Obviously these people -- they make a lot of money and they're not going to spend much. I'm not saying they're overpaid, they're just not spending any money.
thank you, press pool, for ruining america and depriving hardworking ribmongers of the chance to earn a decent living wage.
January 17, 2004
the flat tire
so when i tell you that we had a flat tire yesterday, you might be inspired to gasp. after all, it was -12°, with a wind chill of -38°.
but, really, if you have to get a flat tire, it was the best possible flat you could get.
i noticed the car was riding funny just as we left the driveway. sure enough, the front passenger tire was visibly low. after a brief conversation about whether it was safe to drive on ("i don't know. what do you think?" "i don't know. might as well."), we went down the hill to the tire store and asked them to repair it. twenty minutes later, we were good to go — for free, since we'd bought the tire there.
i wasn't even annoyed, because i was well aware of the numerous ways it could have been worse.
we weren't stranded on the side of the road somewhere — i'd detected it before we got that far.
we weren't struggling in the arctic cold to change it ourselves — which i would have felt honor-bound to try, before inevitably giving up and calling aaa.
we didn't have to wait for days — the tire people had us in and out very quickly.
the tire wasn't even damaged — it had simply slipped off the rim when we hit a bit of leftover car from an accident on the highway.
and getting it fixed was free!
i'll tell you, that flat tire made me happy. even at the time i was thoroughly aware of how bad it could have been, aware that we got off easy.
hey, you take your happiness where you find it.
January 14, 2004
bright red granny panties
so that's what i've been doing wrong.
January 09, 2004
have an ice day
coming out of my catless funk for a moment to tell you that last night's low was
we are currently holding at -6.3°. i am wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt, a polarfleece pullover, flannel-lined jeans, socks, and shearling slippers, and am perfectly comfortable indoors.
the only thing that might induce me to leave the house today is if it caught fire. and maybe not even then, as i imagine it'd be pretty warm and toasty.
January 06, 2004
he was fine
lunch died this morning. we'd planned to take him to massachusetts to see the thyroid specialist, but this morning when we arrived at the vet's to pick him up, he was unconscious. he'd begun to exhibit more obvious signs of neurological problems, and the thyroid specialist said she doubted there was anything she could do for him — it sounded like a brain tumor, after all.
we patted him, though he didn't know we were there, and stood by as the vet put him to sleep.
he was a very fine cat.
January 02, 2004
second verse, same as the first
i had hoped for a positive start to 2004, but certain things are unchanged from 2003 (a year so lousy that i was hard-pressed to stay awake to see the back of it).
lunch is still in bad shape. when we brought him back from the thyroid hospital, he seemed to be mostly all right, but within a few hours he was doing poorly — lethargic, weak, sensitive to light. obviously feeling crappy. we think he's suffering from radiation thyroiditis and hypothyroidism: the thyroid tissue that was destroyed during the treatment is decaying, causing him discomfort, and the healthy tissue that remains isn't performing as well as it should be. so more pills, more hand-feeding, more worry. this cat is working my nerves as well as my heartstrings.
there is still a gigantic tree tilted across our driveway. i called the tree man again today, and spoke to the man himself for the first time instead of his flunkies. he claims he'll be out today to look at it. ahahahaha, i love to laugh.
i am giving january until the 15th to shape up. otherwise i'm never speaking to it again.
January 01, 2004
stashed
last night we couldn't find thermos. at about six o'clock paul said, "i wonder where thermos is. i haven't seen him all day." because thermos has a cold, i figured he was just hiding somewhere, and didn't give it much thought. but when we hadn't been able to track him down by nine, i was a little bit worried.
we looked everywhere, even inside closets we were sure we hadn't opened, inside suitcases that had been zipped closed, bathroom cabinets, everywhere.
everywhere except nestled within my quilting fabric stash, tucked neatly in among the black-and-white prints.
