I called Con Ed and asked them to come back and check the gas again, and sure enough, they found a gas leak in my apartment. The cats and I have been sucking gas for three months. That can't be good. Also, even though they turned off the gas, it still seems to be emanating from the spot I told them to check, and where they found the leak. I'm calling them back today. Ugh.
Meanwhile, remember the other day I posted about the old entrance to the country club my family once belonged to? My brother Peter took me there on Christmas Day so I could get a shot. This is about half it. But you get the idea. It's lovely, right? The road itself is starting to collapse in. I wonder what causes that. This is in Huntington.
I was going to write a piece about the club, in fact I'd still like to. It started out as a men's athletic club in Brooklyn, and then they bought space out in the "country," the estate of someone named Roy Rainey (who I hadn't researched yet).
From the September 8, 1892 New York Times: "Fine play and plenty of it marked the club handicap tennis tournament of the Crescent Athletic Club, Brooklyn, yesterday afternoon. The entry list was unusually large. Handsome prizes for firsts and seconds were offered in singles and doubles."
I just took down the post I put up this morning because I remembered I wanted to post about Save the Chimps. I started donating to them last year, but this year the Arcus Foundation is matching donations up to $500,000 up until December 31st. So, if you give $100 it's like giving $200, but it's only for a couple more days. If you'd like to donate, click here.
It's heartbreaking, the lives they've led, which you can read about on their website, if you can stand it. I know people are suffering, children are suffering, but their suffering isn't any less. We need to help everything that lives, I think, and try not to grade each species in value. Pain is pain and one only has to look into their eyes to see they are feeling it just as we do. (And fear. There's one touching photograph on their website of a chimp holding onto the cage, afraid to let go and be free.)
It's almost a fitting title, given the assassination of Benazir Bhutto yesterday. God, the world we live in. I sometimes think that I'm a very fearful person, and then this happens and I realize, not even close. I'm not even on the same planet in terms of intensity of fear compared to someone who could do that. Although it's more complicated than that, of course. Actually, how does someone get that fucked up?
This is a short film of my brother Douglas getting us all together for a family photograph. Notice how at the end when he tells me to put my camera down I immediately obey.
I got a new bag for Christmas and left the one I brought with me out on Long Island. It had my camera in it, among other things. But this is a picture I took a few days ago of Finney quietly munching on my arm. You have to realize that I reached over, picked up my camera, turned it on and took the picture and all the while he was quietly munching away. Look at that contentedly evil face. Evilness!
I'm finishing up my final draft and delivering to my editor mid-January. I'm also going to be actually showing it to some people, like the daughter of the head of the Lab I'm writing about. So yeah, that's going to be scary. It's very very weird showing your book to people who know more about the subject you're writing about. I went through this when I showed my last book to the detectives I wrote about. Here I am writing what is supposed to be a definitive book about unsolved murder and handing it over to the guys who have been living that for the past 20 or 30 years. Not a secure feeling. And now I get to feel that again! Woohoo!
Howard sent me a link to a Time Magazine article about this photographer. His name is Alex Kirkbride, and he traveled to each state taking photographs underwater. He's represented here.
This was taken at Sunset Lake, Linton, Indiana. From the Time Magazine article: "A mysterious stranger erected this statue at the bottom of the lake in 2001. Local lore has it that the angel channels the spirits of two children who drowned there in the 1920s." It's so beautiful.
I'm going out to Long Island in a couple of hours, to spend Christmas with my family. Should be nice except for the getting there and back on the Long Island Railroad part, which is always a little depressing. Speaking of depressing, and sad stories, when I was growing up my family belonged to a country club called the Huntington Crescent Club. That sounds more privileged than we were, although clearly we weren't poor. The entry to the club was a long country road where the trees on either side were made to grow over the top of the road like a canopy. It was an enchanting effect, and I always loved driving into the club because it felt like we were entering a magical land.
For some reason it was decided to close off that entrance and create a new one off a side road off 25A. It's been decades since then, and there are now buildings and development in front of that old, magical drive. It's still there, but completely overgrown, and you have to concentrate to see the effect of that tree canopy, which has blended into the rest of the vegetation.
I bring it up because it represents my childhood to me, and whenever we drive by it I strain to see what's left of it. It makes me sad, but I want to see. It brings back Halloweens, Christmases, parties at the club, walking to school, my mother when she was young, all of us when we were young, the stores of my childhood, the shopkeepers of my childhood, my grandparents, long dead. I try to remember that every day I am living a new memory that will be this bittersweet later, and above all remember to live, live, live, but still. It's sad. Because I can't help remembering that every day I have ever lived is gone.
Ha! Not so much with the merry. Sorry!
Okay, first, it was the end of the night. People have been drinking, (but not me) there were few of us left, I didn't realize that because I was carrying the camera my voice would be picked up the most, and because I was holding the camera I just wasn't paying attention to my singing and so I went a little flat at times, and, and, what else, I was wet from the rain, God made me go flat, every time I went flat an angel got its wings ... alright, I'm done. This is me and a few choir friends at the end of a caroling evening in the rain, in some bar in Brooklyn.
I think everyone in New York is just not in the mood this year. The Christmas decorations in the East Village were nothing this year. Seriously, nothing. I did, however, pass by this pretty, sparkly dress. Which I cannot possess.
In other news, I'm supposed to go caroling for a good cause at 4pm in Brooklyn today, and I wake up to the television news saying flood watch and high wind advisory beginning at 4pm. I go to my computer and there's email from the girl coordinating this which says, among other things, "If it’s a torrential downpour – meet me at Pete’s at 6 & we’ll just do a few carols for the bar and have pulled pork & beer :-) Not bad for a Sunday!" (It won't affect the money we will raise.) Don't you love her now?
Caroling at Liz & Jim's last night was fun as usual! Thank you, Liz and Jim. Thank you for accompanying me so I could sing from The Messiah. Man. Now I feel like doing the whole thing. It's probably way too late to find one in the city ... looking ... yeah, December 23rd is way too late, alas.
I need to say more things so the text reaches the bottom of the photograph on the left, otherwise the whole thing lines up funny. The rest of this post will be kinda filler-y: Stacy London is charming on Fashionably Late and their make-overs are fabulous. It sucks that The 4400 is cancelled. Space heaters are like comfort-appliances.
Someone told me they weren't able to add a comment, and I found the problem. Comments can be added again, except for the older posts!
Meanwhile, here is my out-of-focus picture of one the Marc Jacob's stores on Bleecker. (What is with me and properly focusing pictures??) I like the whole March of the Wooden Soldiers thing they have going on here.
I'm heading over to the East Village today for a caroling party at a friend's. I'm expecting some interesting Christmas decorations along the way. The East Village is traditionally edgier than the West Village, where I live, except as anyone can tell you, Manhattan is getting so expensive and homogenous these days that the differences that were once there barely apply. We shall see.
DO NOT READ any further if you plan to see this movie, major spoiler alert.
I am so upset. I saw I Am Legend last night. I have spent a lifetime avoiding a repeat of the horror of Old Yeller, which I had seen and was destroyed by as a child. I'd done pretty well. I'm probably more than halfway through my life and it's Old Yeller all over again. I do not appreciate being made to love an animal and then having it killed. Fuck you filmmakers, and I know people disagree with me, but there it is. For me this is the worst possible movie or TV experience. I can't handle it. And it's only make-believe, I know. What can I say? I was absolutely devastated last night.
Otherwise the movie was pretty great. Great zombies. If only they hadn't killed the dog. So unnecessary, in my opinion. And sadistic.
I have to un-do as soon as possible. What should I see? I planned to see Michael Clayton next, but now I need to see something nice.
I came up with an idea for an ongoing series. My neighborhood has transformed in the last few years. I've posted about this before, Bleecker Street and other blocks are now filled with stores I can't afford to shop in. But I don't mind, the windows are always filled with beautiful clothes that are nice to look it. The danger is, every once in a while there is something I want. They taunt me.
Technically, this first entry doesn't count. This store on Perry Street has been here for a long time. Their clothes are magical, and too young and overly-dramatic for me, but they are like works of art and I love looking in their window. But yesterday they put out a red coat on the street that I WANT. I didn't even look at the price tag. Even if it's reasonably priced, which I'm sure it isn't, I'm on a tight budget so there's no way. But still. Want it. The red is deeper than what is coming across in this picture. The dress next to it is very pretty too, but too young for me.
So, Christmas next week! I have to say, Christmas TV has been abysmal. None of my favorites have been playing, like: Bundle of Joy, the Alastair Sim version of A Christmas Carol, Mr. MaGoo's Christmas Carol. I'd love a marathon of Christmas TV episodes or something. I tried to bittorrent the Bones Christmas episode from the first season, but I can't find a copy that anyone is actually seeding.
Anyway, I will have fun photographing clothes I want, I think. I can't forget about 14th Street, which used to be so depressing I wouldn't walk on it and now it has stores like Stella McCartney's.
Two videos with Buddy in them! The second one, with Buddy alone, has music from Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown playing in the background. Yesterday, Finney knocked over my juice and I screamed and it felt so good to scream I just held it out for a long time, but then I heard my neighbor move next door, and worried that they thought I was being killed I added, "Bad cat!" to clarify the screaming matter.
This is a shot from my agent's holiday party last. Good God, that poor girl second from the left looks like the devil with the eye reflection thing. Right? I had a great time chatting with my agent and other writers at the agency, like Lisa Carver and Vivian Swift and one really lovely person whose name just went right out of my head. A novelist who lives in Delaware ... oh well, this is what happens WHEN YOU'RE OLD. Wait a minute, the guy on the very right, look at his expression. It's subtle, but now I'm sure of it. That party was packed with demons.
This is the window dressing around Harry Winston's that I mentioned in an earlier post. It's more dramatic at night. It's quite pretty, I wish I had captured it better.
Tonight is the holiday party at my agent's office. Maybe I will meet some cool writer who is working on some interesting book! Oh, but then maybe I will die of envy. In any case I'm looking forward to it. (Possible envy-death notwithstanding. It's a quick death. Actually, no. If it were possible to die from envy I imagine it would be a slow and painful death.)
Hey! Right this very moment, the song Alvin and the Chipmunks song is playing!
Christmas kiddie porn actually. This is in the window of a clothing store a few blocks from me.
Yesterday I took the day off and went to the movies and saw Enchanted. I'm sorry to report that I didn't love it. I liked it! It was cute, and I laughed a bunch of times, but I wasn't enchanted alas. Sorry. I think it's still worth going if you're in the mood, it's definitely good. Just not great.
I was going to see I Am Legend right after, to make up for the disappointment, but I'm supposed to see that with Howard and he, rightly, would prefer to go during the week. When all the rest of you are at work. So we can have that "nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah, this is our payback for zero job security and no insurance, we can go to the movies in the middle of the afternoon if we want" moment. (Sob.)
Today it's back to work on the book. I'm trying not to despair over that fact that this person who had agreed to talk to me hasn't returned my calls. I am still hoping against hope that he hasn't changed his mind. Maybe I should try writing him? It's someone who experienced a rather dramatic poltergeist when he was 9 years old and in the foster care system. He's now 40, and I tracked him down, and he agreed to talk to me, but no go so far. I was going to end my book with his story, regardless of what it turned out to be. Sigh sigh sigh.
I opted for the library yesterday, since it would count as both exercise (walking there and back) and work at the same time. I tried to treat myself to a movie after, but the times didn't work. So today, I am going to BOTH Enchanted and I Am Legend. Meanwhile, here are my two favorite shots from yesterday. The first is of people taking pictures of the Rockefeller Center tree.
This is a close-up of one of the windows at Tiffany's. Clearly I love things that glitter.
Buddy is like the Heather from America's Next Top Model of cats. Hard to get a shot of him looking at the camera. But he's gorgeous, right? By the way, I so wanted Heather to win.
I've been working day and night on this final draft, I have barely left the house in two days, so I really really really must leave the house today. But to do what? Here are my choices:
- Go to the gym.
- See the movies I Am Legend and Enchanted.
- Go to the library.
What to do, what to do? In other Heather news, (not America's Next Top Model Heather) her current post on Dooce is amazing. Important, even.
Finney watches Buddy from my lap. It's all about the food. I wish weight wasn't an issue and I could just feed and feed and feed them. Knock yourselves out, guys. Food all the time forever.
I just turned on itunes. Time for a list! Some of my Christmas music favorites:
Amahl and the Night Visitors
Snoopy and the Red Baron Christmas
The Bing Crosby/David Bowie Duet
Handel's Messiah
Bach's Magnificat
Vivaldi's Gloria
Anything by Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland
Il Est Ne, Le Devin Enfant
Actually, I'm bored with this list! What's a better list? I pulled out some Christmas books to read.
Silent Night by Mary Higgins Clark
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
The Cat Who Came for Christmas by Cleveland Amory
A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote (short story)
I should explore more stories in this collection that has the Capote story. It's called A New Christmas Treasury. The Capote story is lovely, but sad. The Cat Who Came for Christmas is hysterical. A Christmas Carol, well, everyone knows the story, but the book itself, if you haven't read it, is edgier than most movie versions, and Silent Night, I don't remember if it's any good, but hopefully it will be fun.
The bells belonged to my mother who used them to wake me up to help her when she was dying. Apparently I can sleep through anything, including a dying mother calling for help. When she was dying of pancreatic cancer I would stay out at her house on Long Island a couple of times of week to help take care of her. We were all taking turns, but in my memory it was mostly my brother Douglas, who was the best at negotiating the healthcare system, and my sister-in-law Karen, who was the best at taking care of my mother personally. Karen just has this way of being so caring, but at the same time acting natural and not freaked out, that was so crucial and comforting to my mother those last few weeks. (Thank you, Karen. I will always be grateful.) Which is not to slight anyone else who was there, and everyone was there more than me, it's just that we all have different skillsets and I noticed Doug and Karen's in this situation. But given that I was not there as much as everyone else I probably missed a lot.
Anyway, I was out there one night and my mother had to call and call and call before I finally woke up. It was awful. She was so weak and helpless. She pulled out those Christmas bells and used them to wake me up after that. Ugh.
To the right of those bells is a cross made from the metal of the World Trade Center, and to the right of that is a piece of World Trade Center glass. Oh and that madonna and child triptych is from my dead Grandmother's house. (That's not actually a triptych, is it?)
Oh good lord, I am morbid. But I couldn't help noticing! I swear I'm actually mostly a happy, upbeat person! I see myself that way anyway. I've been singing that Snoopy and the Red Baron Christmas song and everything. Ho ho ho! Deck the halls! I'd have a tree if the cats weren't so bent on its destruction. I'm afraid they'll hurt themselves with it somehow when I'm not here.
I didn't get any great pictures at the Echo holiday party last night, but this is Brett and Erin who just got married the day before!! Congratulations Brett and Erin!! That is not their child, by the way. I don't know where they got her, maybe out front? (That's Ivy, daughter of the fabulous Ava and Grave.)
And now, because my people shots sucked so bad, I give you FOOD. Ava brought these kosher fruit-flavored tootsie-roll-like candies that were absolutely delicious. I googled them last night so I get more, and couldn't find them. Turns out they give them away at B&H Camera. I guess I have to go there and look like I might buy something.
As you can see from the photo, we like to eat crappy food, mostly, although someone brought hummus, which is very good for you. I brought sugar cookies, those Christmas colored sprinkles covered sugar cookies. Because they are pretty. I like that pack of matches that says, "OK." They make the shot.
Or I used to anyway. So many things made me happy I used to make lists. This is a picture of something that hangs in my bathroom. Scotty, a former boyfriend of mine, found this type-drawer and painted it for me and gave it to me as a place to store toys.
These days, if I want to do something nice for Finney I pick him up so he can bat one of the toys out of its slot. It's part of a ritual of ours. I'll pick him up and we'll take a tour of the house, where he will alternately sniff and mush his head against things normally out of his reach, or knock them over, his absolute favorite thing. He loves this ritual. He purrs the minute I pick him up and cranes his neck out immediately to start sniffing and knocking things over. He just can't wait. If I miss something he wants to knock over he will squirm and reach for it. "No, no. You missed something!" And we go back.
Anyway, it used to be that the number of things that made me happy far outnumbered the things that didn't. For a while it's been neck and neck, with the sad outnumbering the happy from time to time, I have to admit. I'm not complaining, life isn't always great, what are you going to do? But for the past couple of days I've been feeling a little bit how I used to feel, and the only way to describe it is, "I take pleasure in a great many things."
I just want to remind people if you find you can't make a comment in one of my posts it's because someone spammed the comment section and I had to turn the comments off for that post. Once one spam appears, soon a ton follow, so I delete the spam and turn comments off.
If I had newer software there would be other ways to deal with it, but I have yet to upgrade. Sorry. I have this fear that I will lose all my history if I upgrade. Must get past that. And I will, after the holidays and after I hand in this book, and finish the NPR piece.
Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this holiday Charles Addams cartoon. And please, do not try this at home. Or Brooklyn, where I will be caroling in a week or so for a good cause with friends.
Okay, must get back to work. And TV. What's on TV tonight? Anything? Oh, there's a new Hallmark TV movie on tonight. Yes, I am a sucker for those Hallmark movies. I cry every year at the Hallmark card commercials, especially the retiring teacher one. And the one with the guy in the nursing home.
I didn't get out to photograph decorations today. I meant to take a picture of a dress that I long for that's hanging in a window nearby, taunting me. Man oh man do I want that dress, even though I have no place to wear it.
You cannot destroy what you cannot reach! I don't think I'm going to be able to get to it today, but I'm going to walk uptown and take pictures of the Christmas decorations. I just love what they're doing up there, particularly the decorations at Harry Winston's. Maybe I'll just walk all around the city taking pictures of the decorations? We can compare how different parts of town do it.
I mean will you look at him?? I got this from a website called Daily Coyote. What a great shot. This woman is so talented. I was so blown away by her coyote (and cat) pictures and her entries about caring for him that I had to read her "About Me" section to find out more about her. It turns out she took a cross country trip on a Vespa and ended up moving to Wyoming--to some town with some tiny number of people.
Stories like hers are very exciting to me. I'm not sure when it started exactly, but the feeling that I should do a 180 with my life has been building. Maybe I should pick up the cats and go. More to come on this, but I have to get back to work on the final draft of my book!
Meanwhile, I added Daily Coyote to my links section. All hail Charlie (the coyote), Eli (the cat) and Shreve Stockton (the human). Shreve your name sounds more like a place than a person's name.
Except it's the afternoon now. No coughing fits at either performance. I came close once, when the soprano began her solo with the flutes and oboe. It was the worst possible place because it would have been not only the most noticeable, but it would have also killed a particularly pretty part. But I popped a lozenge into my mouth and I was fine. Oh Mozart. What would we have done without you? I cannot imagine life without singing and being surrounded by your music. Sucks how young you were when you died.
My family came and brought flowers and took me out to dinner. That's them in the picture. Them meaning the flowers. Because I totally didn't think to take pictures of my family. What is wrong with me?? I love hanging out with my brothers Douglas and Peter and my sisters-in-law Robin and Karen. They're so nice and happy and relatively sane. Not a closet serial killer among them. No seriously, I am SO lucky in this respect.
God, I'm tired. I went to the gym, inspired by Karen and Doug who are more physically active than I am. Except now I am going counter that by laying on the couch for the rest of the day and night.
Snow!! Bring it on! More snow, please!