Free Spit Balls

Whenever I walk to the gym I pass a woman on the corner of 6th and 14th calling out, “Free spit balls!” I always knew she couldn’t really be saying what I thought she was saying, but I was afraid to make eye contact because what if she is saying what I think she’s saying?? I don’t think it would be a good idea to make eye contact with a woman offering free spit balls.

I finally glanced in her direction and figured out what she is saying by the store she was standing in front of. She is saying, “Free Sprint phones.”

Stacy Horn

I've written six non-fiction books, the most recent is Damnation Island: Poor, Sick, Mad, and Criminal in 19th-Century New York.

View all posts by Stacy Horn →

3 thoughts on “Free Spit Balls

  1. Ahahahaha. I see that woman every day and I just want to ask that store – “How do you expect her to sell phones when no one can understand a word she’s saying?”

  2. After much consideration, I think I’d prefer a free spitball to a free Sprint phone.

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