M O R N I N G

 

 

6:00am

Jockey full of Bourbon.

There ’s a roadside seranade given by whatever band we could scrape up, perhaps including Jean's friend with the bagpipes. Sean delivers the classic morning is a broken promise prologue, followed by a rousing recap of TW4's Russian dance. As usual, those who'd rather drink alone at home can reach us at 914-266-3869 and someone here at the psychic TW network will try to guess what you've been swilling.

As it should be: Closing Time.

 

7:00am (back in the) Good Old World.

In a nod to TW 1, Sean and Ted spring for an anti-continental breakfast with irish coffee, Irish oatmeal, rashers, tea, soda bread and bayonneeggs. Remark that everyone you used to know is either dead or in prison or at the Tom Waits festival. Renew 24hr acquaintances and for Christ's sake make some new ones, and enjoy the magical healing powers of the once-a-year TW breakfast. (While you're waiting for your eggs try Sean' s Dino -o-Score II placemat, featuring the urinal quiz and diner-style word jumbles.) Twopenny opera: Nighthawks at the Diner

8:00am ( Beautiful maladies)

it's a common trait of the hosts at Dead Battery Farm – obstinance crossed with failure to learn from experience and its not a pretty one. That's why we can't help redoing events until we get them right. This year, keeping alive a solemn vow to combine the carvinalesque and the industrially stupid, we're bringing back Buddha and his trained potato canon to try a little long-distance target shooting. So give him a hand, folks, and keep your distance as Buddha shows just how far a potato will go to capture your attention. Lay down a little side wager just to prove to newcomers that suckers always make mistakes, far away from home.” get a sense of foreboding by grabbing one of Jen’s TW Fortune Cookies.

Over the intercom:: I don't know how it happens, but every year there's someone around who can't stand the thought of tom waits. Why they show up at a 24hr TW festival is beyond me but hey, everyone's welcome. If you need to ease into the Tom Waits experience at your own pace, or if you're just trapped here, listen to Dana's TW for Beginners compilation.

9:00am A Soldier's Things

and this one's for bravery, and this one's for me, and everything's a dollar in this box. Its kind of like the weekend flea market at 25th St, but then again its not. Its uncle bob's first garage sale in 30years, so just imagine the strange stuff you might discover. We've set up the folding tables on the front lawn and posted garage sale signs all over town. It should be interesting to see what the locals make of a crack-of-dawn garage sale combined with a party in full swing. So bring along a couple of curiosities you've been wanting to get rid of anyway, and hawk them to random passersby. Recently

Overheard: Tom Waits: The Early Years

10:00am I Never Talk to Strangers

just to give the Dead Battery Farm that bona-fide bus station ambiance, sidle up to a stranger and begin a conversation with some out-of-the-blue remark. Or for starters, compare notes with your bench-mate on Sean's Profile for Poor Citizenship,” with penetrating questions like have you ever lied to a customs agent?”, and do you clean your floor mats at least once a year?” For the antisocial and the smart-alecks among you, try TW Style miniature golf. No silly clowns and windmills here – hazards include open oil change buckets and bulldozer treads. Watch out for the aggressively low house par.

Illegitimate offspring: it's the TW bootlegs brought together for the first time. Hear the before tom, the after tom, and the tom in-between.

 

11:00 am All Stripped Down Claw the lint from those pieces of silver and gird those loins for the first gaming event of the day: Belt Sander Jumping. So bring along your speediest sander, or thrill as the final conflict between GOOD (a Black and Decker 2000) and EVIL (a Mikita 5 B) is waged on the only belt sander launching platform this side of Armageddon. Small Change.

MORNING || AFTERNOON || EVENING || THE WEE HOURS