SUDS OF REVOLUTION!
The Heavenly Host Pub in Dublin, Ireland (Seamus O'Neill, prop.) was recently refused a license to serve spirits until the hour of five in the ay em. We decided to say Bollocks to the Bastards.
So the pub has seceded from the Republic of Ireland, and from now on will be known as the Republic of the Heavenly Host Pub (Seamus O'Neill, prop. and President-for-Life).
OUR CONSTITUTION
- Article 1.
Up the Republic!
- Amendment 1.
But frig those bastards at the Dublin Alcohol License Branch.
- Article 2.
Drink as much as you like, whenever you like.
- Amendment 1.
If you mess up on the floor, you mop it up.
- Article 3.
Dance all night.
- Amendment 1.
Pretty girls have to dance with even the ugly men at least once.
- Article 4.
If you don't like any of the rules, Tim Finnegan (Ass't Bartender and Vice President) will thump you with a big fucking stick. Got it?
Any of you cyber-boyos out there think this sounds like a frigging good time, then hack your arses into Aer Lingus's reservation computer and come on over! We'll drink until we puke, and then go piss on the Blarney Stone!
UP THE REPUBLIC!
Note: This idea was inspired by the great Eddie Campbell comic, "Bacchus". Check it out at finer comics stores near you.)
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Write to Seamus at:
mono@echonyc.com
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