They say they understand the West, but as Ulysses Portnoy, leader of the Party Party knows, no one over thirty can be trusted. (Uly tells us he read this in the Port Huron Statement, written by Rockin' American students in the sixties!)
In Doyslovna, no one over 30 can be trusted, because if they're that old, they were probably members of the Communist Unparty.
Maybe our fellow Partyers in Western Europe and America don't know what it was like to live in Doyslovna under the Communist Unparty. Picture this, dudes, picture Ward Cleaver and June smoking pipes as they walk into Jerry Mathers as the Beav's bedroom w hile he's trying to do the nasty with some hot babe of a Young Cosmonaut. And when Ward finds the Beav's pot, all shitfire breaks loose.
Every stinking day in Communist Doyslovna was like that, and if the current ruling party has its way, things will start to suck even worse.
Impossible, says you? It couldn't get worse for Jerry Mathers Beav than to have Ward bust in right as Jerry Beav figures out how to undo a bra strap for the first time? How wrong you are. Because in the Doyslovna that the Ruling Party has in mind, Ward would take Jerry Beav down to the basment rumpus room, and they would sit in bean bag chairs while Ward gave Beav a good talking to.
But that wouldn't even be the worst part. After the lecture, Ward would pour bad vodka for the Beav, and then Ward would sit there and tell the Beav stories about how much poontang Ward used to get before the Berlin Wall fell.
Doyslovna is at the center of the Balkan Rave movement. Mainly because we Partying Doyslovnans know what is HIP. Hip is what we do, hip is what we are, hip is where we're at. We breathe hip, sleep it, wash with it, drink it, fuck it, and dance it aroun d. Check out what we have in mind.
Already, we are starting to get support from Revolutionary movements around the world. From Ireland, we got sixty cases of Guinness from the Heavenly Host Pub in Dublin, Ireland. If you go through Dublin, say hi to Seamus, and te ll him the Party Party in Doyslovna told you to check out his place.
From Brooklyn, New York, we got sent thirty-five thousand bagels, something called a canoli, plus a collection of old disco records. Check out our comrades in revolution, the Gowanus Revolutionary Party!
So there you have it. The Doyslovnan Party Party know how to kick out the jams, lay down the grooves, and rock out. We are the future of Doyslovna, and nobody's going to kill that buzz.
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