THE CORPORATION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
(USACORP)
(a wholly-owned subsidiary of Chase Manhattan Bank), in conjunction with The Insurance Company (T.I.C.), would like to announce a new and exciting policy:

It's hard to explain such a revolutionary concept. Instead of wasting your time with boring actuarial charts or pointless ROI statements, we've decided to re-create our first sale!

The man responsible for U.S. Insurance was Michael "Peg Leg" Troiano (the former Heisman Trophy candidate out of Cornell University). Mr. Troiano tells us the idea came to him as he was sitting in a meeting involving trade agreements with the Republic of Japan. Frustrated at a sudden impasse, Mr. Troiano was unable to contain himself, and burst out, "Dammit, just sign the [expletive deleted] treaty, or I'll break your [expletive deleted] legs!"

Impressed by his forceful negotiating style, the Japanese signed the agreement -- and also offered Mr. Troiano a job as a lobbyist!) Mr. Troiano turned them down, however, because the breakthrough in negotiations had given him an idea.

Let us take you then, to a recreation of the first meeting between Michael Troiano, President of T.I.C, and British Prime Minister John Major. We feel that it will tell you everything you need to know.