Transcript
8/1/95
Troiano:
I suppose you got a question about why I asked 
you here, Prime Minster.

Major:
You're [expletive deleted] right I do!  Who are these 
[expletive deleted] thugs you call executive assistants?

Troiano:
That ain't important.  Just listen to this offer 
I have to make to you.

Major:
Offer?  Who are you representing?

Troiano:
Let's just say that a certain government 
that won a certain War of icy 
temperatures has an offer.  
It seems this unnamed government 
has a lot of debts because of this war.  
Debts that you might say are, uh, 
disturbing.  And this government 
has decided that it might like some, 
you know, help.  With these 
aforementioned debts.

Major:
What are you getting at?  Is this some 
kind of shakedown?

Troiano:
Shakedown?  Prime Minister, 
prime minister.  Tsk, tsk.  You've got 
a very active imagination.

Major:
Well, what is this all about then?

Troiano:
Let me put it in simple terms, PM.  
London, that's a nice city you got there.  
I heard a lot about it.  Big Ben, 
Tower of London, Westminster Abbey.  
That's some nice shit you got there.  
It'd be a real shame if something 
was to, uh, happen to it.

Major:
Happen to it?  What in 
the world do you mean?

Troiano:
Well, PM, as you may or may not know, 
we -- oops, I meant to say this 
unnamed government has got a 
whole lotta nuclear weapons just sitting 
out there.  You know, in, like, South Dakota, 
North Dakota.  One a them [expletive deleted] 
states out there.  And you know, a lot of 
those nukes, we don't even barely know 
where they are, if you know what I mean.  
And there's some crazy bastids [sp?] 
out there, PM.  Like that Oklahoma City 
thing.  And it don't take nothing to turn 
some kinda, you know, launch key.

Major:
Are you utterly [expletive deleted] mad?  
You're talking about nuclear weapons!

Troiano:
Oh, I know, I know.  It disturbs me also 
very much.  But here's what I'm saying 
to you.  Maybe if this unnamed Cold 
War-winning government weren't so, 
you know, burdened with 
debt, maybe it could do something about 
making sure said nukes never got launched.

Major:
What are you saying, exactly?

Troiano:
Maybe, just maybe, you might want to 
consider buying a little...
insurance.