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Bad Jokes
From So You Want to Be a Lesbian?
These jokes are provided as a public service. We do not condone their use or repetition. They are presented here only as a way to expose them and we hope quash them. Read at your own risk.
The Mother of All Bad Lesbian Jokes
- Q:
- How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- A:
- That's not funny!
Variations
- Q:
- How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- A:
- Two. One to screw it in and another to say, "That's not funny!"
- Q:
- How many lesbian feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- A:
- Two. One to screw it in, and Andrea Dworkin to say, "That's not funny!"
- Q:
- How many lesbians does it take to change a tire?
- A:
- That depends on whether they are butch or femme.
Butch jokes (as told by femmes)
- Q:
- How many femmes does it take to change a tire?
- A:
- Two. And no help from AAA.
- Q:
- How many butches does it take to change a tire?
- A:
- Six. Two to change the tire and four to stand around drinking, chatting, and telling the other two how they're doing it all wrong.
- Q:
- What do you call it when two butches have sex?
- A:
- Banging tools.
- Q:
- What do you call two butches bonding?
- A:
- Monday Night Football.
- Q:
- What's a butches favorite place to shop?
- A:
- The Snap-On Tools outlet.
Femme jokes (as told by butches)
- Q:
- How many femmes does it take to change a tire?
- A:
- Two. One to call AAA and the other to whine about the axle grease on her skirt.
- Q:
- How many butches does it take to change a tire?
- A:
- One. With no jack.
- Q:
- What do you call two femmes having sex?
- A:
- Bumping pocketbooks.
- Q:
- What do you call two femmes bonding?
- A:
- Expensive.
- Q:
- What a femme's favorite place to shop?
- A:
- Anywhere.
Miscellaneous joke
- Q:
- What did one lesbian say to the other after they slept together for the first time?
- A:
- "The moving truck's coming at ten."
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