advice from the trenches

Big news! Cori is having her baby on Friday. We know this because the little miscreant has decided to firmly lodge him or herself in Cori's pelvis, butt-down and head up, necessating some "minor surgical assistance." (ssh! don't scare her!)

Anyway, incredibly, at this very minute, Cori is at work. She is clearly super-human. And she needs to get out of there.

Because she is my friend, and because, for now, when it comes to life with kids, I know more than she does, I propose the following schedule for her next day and a half instead:

• As soon as you see this -- Leave work. Don't look back for three months.


• 2:30 -- Arrive at the movie theater. Buy a ticket for the next kid-unfriendly movie, whatever it is. Read a magazine while you wait for the movie to start.


• 5:00 -- Get your nails done. I know you never do this, but you might miss it once you know you can't, even if you don't want to.


• 6:00 -- Eat somewhere good and kid-unfriendly, even if you can't afford it. Go to Union Square Café and sit at the bar while you wait for Josh. Charge it if you have to. It's the last meal you'll eat out without feeling like you're wasting tuition dollars.


• 8:00 -- Go to the movies again. It still doesn't matter what's playing.


• 10:30 -- Have sex before you go to sleep. Twice.
• Tomorrow -- I don't care what you do. But you should. Think about what are your favorite things to do and places to go in Manhattan. For me, it's the bra shop, the Temple of Dendur, Warren-Tricomi, Ann Taylor Loft, and Yura. Your list is probably different. Whatever.

  Now imagine what it will be like to share this experience with a stroller, a Baby Bjorn, or a hungry, cranky, and or bored little person. Imagine what it will be like to go to these places knowing that you're paying a sitter $10 an hour to be there. Then revel in the the things that most please you.

However much you think your life is about to change, it's more. A lot. And for the better. But take a day to say goodbye to the freedom that you hardly even know you have now. You deserve it.

I'll be thinking of you on Friday. Say hi to the little critter for me when it gets here.

Love.

Posted by volfie at November 12, 2003 02:15 PM