bullet, dodged

Yesterday I went for my regularly-scheduled biannual mammogram. Squish this, squash that. No big deal.

Except that my phone rang yesterday at about 4:00 and the lady on the other end told me that the radiologist wanted a better look at something and that I needed to come back in. A better look at what?, I asked, and she kind of said, Oh, you know, a better look. I most surely did not know, but I looked at my calendar and suggested a day late next week, and she suggested today. Today.

So I got up this morning, took Jonah to speech therapy and the library, and went to find out whether or not I had breast cancer.

A different technician did the job this time, and it involved measuring things with a ruler and making marks on my breast with a red felt-tipped pen. It also involved shooting a much more specific area of just one breast.

I kept asking everyone who would asking just why I was there, and they were all rather reassuring-ish, but every scond I was choosing between remaining quiet and compliant and shrieking like a madwoman. Should I raise my arm when she asked, or should I scream WELL, AM I GOING TO FUCKING LOSE MY TITS AND DIE YOUNG AND LEAVE MY KIDS ALONE, OR WHAT? A hard choice, really.

In the end, she came back and told me that everything was fine and I should go home and come back in a year.

Fine? As in, no biopsy, no cancer, no chemo, no nothing?

No nothing. Go home.

You have never seen anyone get out of an office as fast as I did. I'm sure the women at the front desk were asking themselves what that black leather jacket-clad blur was. It was my breasts, is what it was. Safe and sound, and heading home to bake.

Posted by volfie at November 12, 2004 02:00 PM