Transcript from the set of

The voices have been (tentatively)identified as belonging to:

AS: Okay! This is great!
JF: Um, Alan?
AS: Yes, Jeff?
JF: My hurts, you know--
DT: I think it's hurting his tinkle-thing. (Giggles)


AS: Well, of course it's hurting his tinkle-thing, Dewy! He's being hung from a tree by insane post-apocalyptic Catholics!
LQ: Wow.
AS: So it's gonna hurt. And goddam it, Jeff--I don't want your face to show anything! You're the fucking hero for fuck's sake! Be impervious, be untouched! You will hang from that tree from your tinkle-thing and show no emotion at all!
OT: (quietly) I don't think that'll be a problem.
AS: What, Orv?
OT: I was saying there's no problem.
AS: Of course there isn't. Good! So I assume you're using the right lens.
OT: Which lens would that be, Alsk?
AS: big one. Over there. Yeah. The round thick one.
OT: This one?
LQ: (giggles) It looks like a glass diaphragm.
OT: Calm down, Alsk--its the right lens. It's a really GOOD lens.
AS: Of course it is! Okay, okay--Linnea?
LQ (giggles) Yes, Alan?
AS: While Jeff hangs from the tree there, I want you to slowly strip, and taunt him with your know.
LQ: Wha?

The sound of whispering.


LQ: Oh, right. But Alan, his eyes!
AS: What about his eyes?
LQ: They're like, you know--weird! Too blue! Like someone stuck blue marbles in his head. I don't want marbles staring at my tits!
JF: Hey! Fuck you, you little moon-dancing who-- OOUUCCHHH!
AS: Careful with that truss, Eugene.

(Transciber's note: it is assumed that Smithee made this remark to on-set efx man, Benson Stit)


AS: Look, Linnea: he's the fucking savior of your people! Show some skin for Chrissakes.
LQ: I still think his eyes are creepy.
AS: Saviours often have weird eyes; it's a savior thing.
JF: Um...Alan?
AS: Oh God, more truss problems?
JF: No.
AS: Well, what is it? The light's all to shit, we have 30 set-ups left? What?



JF: I gotta pee.

-- Grey Zone 1