TALES FROM THE COOP

Now at foody.org/coop.html


PROXYLESS SMOOCHING AND POPULIST FASCISM

I was too busy being kissed in Central Park by a new friend to even think about the Annual Meeting, and too excited about meeting her to send a proxy form in my absence.

But it wouldn't have mattered. The second to last General Meeting had decreed that every coop member be sent proxies to keep the coordinators from packing the election of the board of directors. But popular member support for staff-supported candidates overwhelmed the vote. Neither the staff's stumping, nor the aid of a cute staff sympathizer campaigning outside the coop door, can explain the overwhelming number of members voting their proxies per the staff's request. The board of directors vote proved that the commercially oriented, comfortably familiar benign dictatorship of the coop coordinators is still the popular favorite of most coop members.

Longtime coordinator puppet Melinda Antirevolutionary Marx, already a board member, suffered a 38-48 vote by Annual Meeting attendees -- but non-attending members' proxies gave her a staggering winning lead of 725-199, with 199 abstentions. General Meeting cochair Stana Weisburd won a 47-26 vote of Annual Meeting attendees but was defeated 291-303, plus 314 "who the hell are you?" abstentions, thanks to proxies.

Coordinator favorite Paul Bermanzohn, an anti-GM-foods demagogue but also a shrink specializing in psychotic behavior, which should make him a coop meeting expert, won 683-196, with 155 abstentions. General Meeting irritant Andy Kaufman, probably a patient of Bermanzohn's, lost by his usual humiliating margin, 84-647 with 178 abstentions. Former coop president turned anti-staff rebel Doyle Warren lost 189-588 with 155 abstentions, and lightweight Web wanker Simeon Rose lost 165-536, with 148 abstentions.

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jkarpf@echonyc.com