I'm not out to "convert" the [MOTOS] object of my desire. I *know* they're queer. And in all likelihood it is that sublime quality that we all possess, call it spiritual androgyny that I find so damned attractive.

And yet while I am moved to approach such a one, I hesitate lest they think I would seek to violate the integrity of what is a sacred space.

While it may seem a contradiction in terms, yours truly can still _feel_ mighty queer even while engaged in mixed gender coupling. But it's not like I've got a tatoo saying "It's OK, I'm bi."

13:566) Richard Milhouse Headcharge 12-JAN-95 10:24

guilt about desiring an opposite sex partner in a queer environment? uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh nope. nope.

your last post is quite lovely, though I would emphasize the importance of not holding anything sacred when it comes to sexuality, not even queer spaces as havens of the oppressed. (this is a liberal sentiment which must be overcome) As I have posted earlier, the enemy is not heterosexuality, but sexuality itself (my view anyway).

Faune, re: gay boy object of desire: go for it. Millions of women hunger for gay men, and millions of gay men have affairs with women (though they don't talk about it at act up meetings or at "history of stonewall" conferences.) Though be prepared for an entirely unorthodox relationship.

13:568) Lefty 12-JAN-95 11:24

That sexuality is polar, fixed at birth (or near birth), and is a biological fuction are all widely held beliefs for which there is not an ounce of evidence, other than the wishful thinking of highly repressed.

Well, i should not be so "know it all" here. In fact, these things may be the case for some, but they are certainly not the case for all.

Personally, i think that bi-sexuality (lived and vigorously defended) is the real threat to our present, classical ideology concerning sexuality. If only 1 or 4 or even 10% of the population was homos and heverybody else was straight, we would not have anything like the queer bashing and homophobia we have. Its all those strange dreams and unexplainable queer impluses by such a large segment of the population that scares so many people into being bigots.

Also, the idea that there ISNT that ONE special person out there who is going to complete your soul, be your perfect compliment, fullfil ALL your needs, but rather that our desires and needs are complex and are, in fact, met by a host of friends and lovers who could, all, be in loving realations (sexual and non-sexual.... as just one more aspect) as part of community of lovers: now THATS revolutionary.

13:569) Micro-Welcome Home Mark!!-blu 12-JAN-95 12:50

Very helpful, sincere answers here. I'd like to agree with dealing with one asshole at a time -- as easy on the psyche...as well as monogamy being some puritanical ideal revolving around jealousy (is that contradictory?). It comes down to how you identify in a particular day/hour -- and realizing that that which you fear in others you most fear in yourself. "I'm attracted to MOTOS so maybe my lover is too?" No ownership. Can I share? Can they? Is it OK? Who am I if not my lover's lover? Hmmm. Sorry I've been worrying about this lately. Ramble on.

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