Some days it's all sunshine and smooth sailing
I wheeled Max around in his stroller stopping occasionally so he could
hammer on things with his plastic hammer. Since this invariably made
noise people would stare at us. I would then say "Excuse me, but we're
traveling around hammering things that need it. Do you have anything that needs
hammering?" Most said "No." but one man claimed his knee needed
hammering. He came over and Max knocked a few times on his knee. He said thanks
and walked off. Max stared after him in amazement.
Conor: I HATE Frank Sinatra!
Me: No son of mine could hate Frank Sinatra! You don't hate Frank Sinatra!
Conor: I do! I hate him!
Me: Who's better than Frank Sinatra?
Conor: Elvis Presley!! (arm pumping in the air) Rock and roll! Rock and roll!!
Me: "Alex, you can watch Lion King (for the 57 millionth time) after
you take your nap. First nap, then Lion King."
Alex: (runs and lays down on the futon for 30 seconds, then pops his head up:) "All done!"
Jesse's reading what turns out to be the French Toast Profile
Official Entry Form (I gather French Toast is a clothing label).
Suddenly he shouts: "Sex?!!!!" I grab the form. Yeah, it asks for sex, height, weight...
I explain what it means. He says, "Oh, I thought it meant the kissy, lovey kind."
Yesterday I had to do this huge mailing at work and I left with a
grocery bag full of letters. Conor loves to put letters in the mail slot so I
told him he could earn some money if he mailed all of them for me while
I waited on line at the post office. So he's happily putting letters in
the slot, but there were lots of them and after a while he started calling
in to me "Mom, you gave me A LOT of letters, this is HARD," and then out of
nowhere he said "GOD HELP ME," like 7 or 8 times. It just cracked me up, and
the people around me were smiling, though I had a typical moment of wondering if
he were offending someone horribly. But it was awfully funny.
Annie stubbing the toe next to her big toe and saying "Ouch. This
little piggie stayed home because it hurt!"
Jesse, Alice (my ex) and her friend Karyn were hanging on the porch
down at the shore house. Next door they're renovating, and some of the
workers are Latino. A car of teenagers passes and they shout
"Shitkickers!" which infuriates Alice. She launches into a speech about
how racism is the worst thing in the world, when Jesse declares, "I
saw sexism at the beach today." The women start cracking up, and ask
him what he means.
"I was playing with those guys, and they said no girls can play."
"Well what did you do?"
"I ran as fast as I could."
Alice and Karyn were hysterical at this, and Alice recalls that Jesse
did run furiously back to her at one point.
"That was sexism. I like to play with girls."
"Well you could have said something to the boys."
"No, I just ran. But if I see them tomorrow I'll say something."
I love this story. SEXISM, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!!!
Best use ever for Barbie doll (which Lulu never really cared about):
She wrapped it head to toe in gauze, sprinkled it with cinammon, nutmeg
and cloves, put it in a box and painted elaborate Egyptian symbols on
the box, as part of her report on Egyptian mummification. And got an A.
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