Jerome Gold

Jerome Gold served in the 5th Special Forces Group in Viet Nam in 1965-66. He received a Ph.D in anthropology from the University of Washington and says, "I did not pursue an academic career because I became convinced (and remain convinced) that being a veteran of our war in Vietnam would prohibit me from obtaining a job in anthropology." He did field work in Montana and Samoa. With Les Galloway, he founded Black Heron Press in 1984. Since Les' death in 1990, he has run the press alone. Jerome Gold is also the author of several novels, and collections of stories and interviews.

WHAT I SAW

Here's what I saw:
This Mexican and this black guy
were fighting in an alley.
The black guy was getting
the best of the Mexican
and the Mexican pulled out
a knife and stabbed the black. Then
the Mexican cut the black guy
here and around here and peeled
the skin off his face. You see that
when you're three or four years old,
it leaves an impression.
You know?

When I was little there'd
be dead guys in our flower
bed in the morning when I woke
up. It didn't seem funny
then like it is now when you
think of dead guys and flowers.
Gang stuff, yeah.
Then I got bigger I'd
find my homies dead. I miss
them all the time, even if

they are still in my mind.

I think about it all the time,
you know? I dream about
it, I fantasize about
doing it. Violence. I love
it more than anything. More
even than females. I've shot a lot
of enemies, though
I haven't, as far as I know,
killed any. Though maybe I have.

If I die? So what. I'll be
with my homies in heaven
or hell, it makes no difference.
And if there's nothing, I won't care.

Oh, yeah, one more thing I saw:
my dad after he blew his
brains out. He'd been in
Vietnam. I guess he
couldn't take it anymore. That's
what everybody said.
Whatever "it" was.