The Mostly Unfabulous Homepage of Ethan Green

All relationships require an introduction. Whether formal or informal, an aquaintanceship is necessary if you're going to get past the shared glances stage. But even routinely confident people find making initial contact with someone they like a truly terrifying endeavor. All of a sudden, we get unnaturally shy and dim-witted. Some find it so painfully numbing that they prefer to pass over an opportunity rather than risk fumbling into embarrassment. Why should a few words have this power over us when we meet new people every day without stuttering or breaking a sweat?

 

Bonus Hint: Don't drink too much.

Well, for one thing, we place too much importance on its immediate success. Unless you say something really stupid or off-putting, no one interested will lose interest just because you don't dazzle them with your opening words. And please, there's no need to be an instant stand-up comedian. A simple "Hello" or "Hi" is a sufficient greeting; In fact, the casualness of the introduction may well put you both at ease. Sincerity, not magic, is what you strive for. Charming wit is an attractive trait but not a badge you need to thrust in someone's face. And ignore the myth that you have only approximately three seconds to appear irresistible. What you say is much more important that how fast you wow him. But, on the other hand, you can manage to look absolutely charmless in record time if you toss him a cheesy pickup line. With a scornful laugh, he'll rightfully toss you aside. In love and dating, we're all lactose intolerant.

Top Ten Most Pathetic Opening Lines

10. You look familiar. Are you famous?

9. You know, you could be a porn star.

8. Would you believe I dreamed about meeting you last night?

7. Give me your sign and I'll tell you if we're compatible.

6. My boyfriend's not home tonight.

5. Is that Prada?

4. Care to lambada?

3. Have we slept together?

2. You'd be real pretty as a girl.

1. I hope you're legal.

Asking Him Out

Okay, you've sucessfully met someone and now what to take it to the next step. "I guess I'll see you around" is not the way to go. Neither is "I secretly followed you home last week. Can I swing by sometime?" Never leave it in the hands of chance or he will slip away. It is time to take charge even if it makes you feel vulnerable. Yes, you may be rejected, but you undoubtedly lose if you don't even try. As long as it's not thirty seconds after meeting him, ask him out. You never know.

Reasons to Reassure Yourself If Ever Rejected

1. He's got a boyfriend.
(I respect that. I don't want bad karma.)

2. He's blind.
(That dog at the bar wasn't a hallucination or my exboyfriend.)

3. He only goes for older guys
(And I am still blooming or at least appear so.)

4. He reserves his love for charity cases.
(Say no more.)

5. He's straight but out to support his gay friends.
(Easy to confuse. I'm sure he was flattered.)

6. He's got no taste.
(He wouldn't know how to appreciate me.)

7. He didn't feel good enough.
(Insecurity. Sad but completely understandable.)

More from Husband Hunting Made Easy:

• Introduction: Yes, you can have it all.
• What is a Husband (and Why Do I want one?): Includes the three types of men to avoid at all costs.
• A Self-Inventory Break: Look to these four special ways to spruce up your appearance.
• A Husband Hunting Q&A: In this online exclusive, author Patrick Price answers letters from his mailbag.
• How Needy Are You?: Special! Take this interactive quiz to uncover your Needy Quotient.

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