From Queer Astrology for Women
By Jill Dearman
What's Your Sign?
Aries (March 21-April 20)
Aries women are great leaders, and great athletes. If a job demands great physical and mental courage, you can expect Aries to be on the front lines. Whatever field she is in, from firefighter to football player, she is a true pioneer. She takes risks before it is fashionable to do so.
Of course, the annoying thing about Ms. Aries is that her ego needs constant propping up. She needs a lot of attention and regular reminders that she is number one: in the sack, at the office, on the sports field.
When Ms. Aries was young, she probably said to herself, "I want to be a (fill in the noun: performer, politician, reporter... ) when I grow up." Even as an adult she holds fast to her dreams and ambitions. She will accomplish great things in this life, and she won't destroy other people to get to the top! She's a winner with a conscience.
The gay Taurus woman possesses a unique balance of common sense and keen intuition. Sometimes she is torn between the two and may jump to an extreme. Don't be fooled. She always needs to listen to both of those voices to be happy. Although she may follow her heart completely for a while, eventually her head will have to kick in. And if she follows the cold voice of logic for too long, she is sure to feel a bleak sense of emptiness. Understand that above all else, the Taurus woman needs to be comfortable. She is a creature of habit, so don't mess with her routine! But if you like your women artistic, solid, and sensitive, and your relationships long and steady, then you are definitely barking up the right tree.
She may take a while to get attached, but once she does, it is you who will have a hard time breaking free. You could get to used to good loving, good cooking, and a woman who comes to your emotional rescue every time you need her.
The Gemini woman is a fascinating person who takes a divinely light approach to life, but she is often guilty of skimming the surface so that she never really connects with anyone or anything. Luckily, Geminis are flexible and open to changing and growing. And she is always full of surprises.
Gemini women like to change careers as often as they change hairstyles. It's not her fault that she's so smart and easily bored that she must tackle new challenges at a rate of one big, bold one every four years. Geminis are excellent writers, politicians, teachers, and performers. Any profession that calls for a bit of the chameleon is a good one for her. She is also apt to be incredibly adept at learning new languages.
Geminis are prone to nervous habits such as chain-smoking or excessive coffee drinking. It's her jittery Mercury rules, and her famous oral fixation, that are to blame. She needs to talk about her feelings more and exercise more if she wants to calm those jumpy nerves of hers.
She is so home-driven that she sometimes forgets to focus on her career. When she's done raising her babies (or cats or dogs), she can slip into a work mode without breaking a sweat. You see, this woman tends to be so lovable that people can't help but want to work with her. She is gentle and unthreatening on the surface, but don't be fooled. She is a great leader and incredibly driven when she wants something.
Many Cancer dykes excel in the healing professions because they are so nurturing and so gentle when it comes to taking care of the physical body and the wounded psyche. Their intense emotions and great imaginations also make these women gifted artists. Unless she has used her business sense (which is pretty damn sharp) to make some real money first, she probably won't pursue the arts with 100 percent ardor. She likes to be in control. For her, financial security will probably come first, and then a thriving creative life.
The Leo dyke is a great leader. You probably knew who she was in the community before you even met her. She likes to be in charge, so naturally she's a bit bossy. She acts as if her life is a movie and she's the star... it is and she is. Leo is the sign of drama with a capital D. And she won't be ignored. Most of these women need to perform in some way. She may not be an actress by profession, but you can bet she is comfortable onstage. She loves to make speeches and sway the crowds. She is also an old softy. Leo is the most sentimental of signs, and she has no qualms about breaking out into a chorus of "Always on My Mind" on a whim. She does not embarrass easily because she assumes we are all her adoring fans... and we are. Of course, she may embarrass you by blathering on ad nauseam in a loud, pompous tone while you're out in public. Once she's got the spotlight, she does not relinquish it easily.
Ms. Leo is such a good leader, you may find her working in politics or running an organization. People listen to her, and not just because she's bossy. She's trustworthy, too. Evolved Leo women possess a high degree of integrity. She's a nurturer, too, but her energy is far from maternal. At her best, she is more like a good father: inspiring her kids (lover, colleagues, family, friends, shopkeeps, etc.) to do their best and make her proud.
Ms. Virgo loves words and details so much, she may work as an editor. She has a keen critical mind and can be truly helpful and constructive when working on someone else's material. She may want to work on her own creative projects, but has a hard time shutting her inner censor up.
Most Virgos benefit from meditation, yoga, or just plain intense athletic activities. It helps to calm their minds. And believe me, honey, their minds never rest, even when they are asleep. She may drive you crazy sometimes with her well-meaning criticisms, but try not to take it too personally. And please don't fire back at her with venom. She is so hard on herself she doesn't need you to pick on her.
But there's another side to her, too. As her symbol, the scales, indicates, she is an intense advocate for justice and has strong social convictions.
Although she can drive you made with her ability to argue either side of the coin, don't get too upset. She is just honing her chops. She knows what she believes in, and she always sways (in her heart) toward what is fair.
When it comes to her career, she may be a little bit on the lazy side. Libra women are generally not big go-getters. Their big breaks tend to come through personal connections more than hard work. And others do have a way of helping them reach their goals. Art and law are the fields of choice for these creative, idea-driven dykes.
She is ruled by her passion and desire to know the truth at all costs. She is relentless, but can be surprisingly gentle, protective, and loyal if she loves you, trusts you, and feels safe with you. She is the archetypal great friend, and bitter enemy.
When it comes to her work life, she is usually quite ambitious and will generally stop at nothing to succeed. She does well as an "underdog"... fighting against all odds. Scorpios excel in any profession that involves understanding human motivation. If she's an actor or director, she will bring great depth to her craft. Even Scorpios who pursue traditional careers in law or medicine succeed because they are fascinated by what is in the hearts and minds of others. They make excellent psychologists. Their patients, however, may never know how intrigued by the occult they are.
As the Sagittarius woman gets older, she will more than likely develop a strong philosophy, which helps her to find meaning in her life and in the universe. An evolved Sagittarius dyke like this has probably learned from her youthful mistakes and developed a wry and generous way of viewing herself and the world.
And she is definitely generous. Ms. Sagittarius is the first to offer you a futon to crash on when you and your roommate have had a major row. And she'll lend you money or whatever you need, no questions asked. On the other hand, she may nickel-and-dime you into the poorhouse, and this chick does like to have a good time. Drinks on the house for everyone (on your American Express card) and gourmet meals at the trendiest restaurants can add up.
Still, she always has more fans than detractors, because this woman truly has a great attitude: that life is for living, and love is always worth giving. It's a great theory, although even she will admit that she is just a heartbreaking heathen disguised as a lovey-dovey do-gooder.
And because she is so friendly and worldly in her rough and na•ve way, there is no one better to travel with. You won't want to leave home without her.
Sagittarian women are great athletes, too. They are probably the most physical women in the zodiac. They love the sporting life, although they are so accident-prone they are apt to break a bone for every goal they score.
Yet this woman does have a dry and earthy sense of humor. Most of them are old souls who have a highly developed sense of irony, which stems from being born with all their world-wear wisdom. Most Capricorn women have to rely on themselves, not their good luck (which they usually have little of), so they can be a little tough. If she's tough on you, you must realize that she is probably ten times as rough on herself. Fortunately, the older they get, the easier life tends to get for most of these poker-faced gals. But she is not going to slide through her early years praying for a miracle. This woman is apt to work as hard as she can to reach her goals. And for her, second best is never good enough.
When it comes to her career, she is in it for the money and the prestige. She is apt to pick a field that gives her plenty of power. She wants to wield her puppet strings and control the masses. Luckily, she is a mogul we can trust. She is responsible, smart, and savvy. This woman knows how to turn a dollar into twenty and a twenty into a hundred. That's why people are willing to invest in her. She will get to the top one way or another.
She needs to understand the world around her and tends to be a deep thinker. Not deep in the water-sign way. She is not so much interested in the complex emotional motivations of human beings; she is more fascinated by the bizarre ways our psyches actually play out. She is less interested in why Jackie Kennedy stayed mum during hubby Jack's affairs and more interested in what she did to further the advancement of high culture for a generation of Americans. Analyzing Lady J's choices and how they affected society is more interesting to an Aquarian woman than replaying the former first lady's past. The past bores most Aquarians. They can barely stay awake for the present. It's the future that turns them on.
Hopefully, Ms. Aquarius has a job or a sideline that allows her to focus much of her brainpower into one direction. She is, after all, a fixed sign, and like other fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, and Scorpio), she is at her best when she puts all her energy in one direction.
Ms. Aquarius has many talents. She is a gifted scientific thinker and has a knack for using the latest technology to her advantage. As I've mentioned, Aquarius is the sign that is most closely associate with the future, therefore she is always one step ahead of the rest of us. She is also on the cutting edge of her own time. She is forever young because she is forever hip.
However, Aquarian women do have the irritating habit of having to be contrary for the sake of being contrary. If you are raving about some gangsta rapper whose CD you adore, you can expect Ms. Aquarius to jump in with some heavy judgments about how LL MC Doggy whoever is only encouraging violence among his own people and should stop making records altogether. A few months later you may hear her playing the same record for her own listening pleasure. When confronted, she'll go into a diatribe about how free speech should be protected, no matter how offensive the content of the speech may be.
Sound hypocritical? To a degree, it is. But Aquarians who can recognize their own hypocrisy and then force others to admit to their own are doing the world a great service. And that's what these chickies are here for... to change the world.
The difficulty for Ms. Pisces is this: How can she pursue her dreams and desires, which probably have to do with either art or healing, when there is so much suffering in the world? I am not saying that every Pisces woman is Mother Teresa (who was a Virgo, after all.) But I can tell you that the suffering of others affects her deeply. She may have someone in her family or amongst her circle of friends who is in pain and in need, and for this person she may put her own needs and goals on the back burner. This is a noticeable pattern for many Pisces dykes.
Of course, some Pisces dykes fall into a different Neptunian trap. Being born under the last sign of the zodiac, they are world-weary and well aware of the cruelty of Mother Nature and human nature. These chicks may do what water signs in general are prone to do (but more), which is fall into the bottle -- whether it's the Scotch bottle, the pill bottle, or some other anesthetizing substance. This is a trap and a predilection that all Pisces people should take a long, hard look at. It's sad to see a deep, beautiful, brilliant Pisces woman lose years of her life because her fears and sadness lead her to harm herself rather than to heal herself and others.
If she can stop
reacting and start making active choices in her life -- whether
it's to love someone worth loving (rather than someone abusive),
to make great art or a great contribution to this world (rather
than passively stay in one safe spot for too long), or to give
up the booze if it's a problem -- rather than watch her life slip
away, then she can reach a true place of happiness and fulfillment.
She ain't heavy. She's just a Pisces.