[Close Calls cover]

"Mainstreet"

By Linda Smukler

A Story from Close Calls: New Lesbian Fiction

Small towns a barber pole this is what Jake sees and wants it was difficult to walk into that first one after all it was the town Jake lived in and there was that pale dirty green door not painted for years and the sign that said Men's Hairstyling 9-5 Mon thru Sat but one day Jake did walk in through the pale green door to find a long row of old men all waiting their turn Jake tried to seem like she was looking for someone then to make it seem like no one she was looking for was there so she could turn around and leave which is what she did shaking her head to rid herself of the old man smell that followed her out the door but the sign said 6 dollars and that was better than the 13 at the beauty shop in the strip mall where Jake to work very hard to convince Meryl the cosmetologist to cut her hair like Jake wanted and why pay 13 when it was really much cheaper free in fact to cut it herself? maybe because she liked Meryl's hands as they massaged her head in the sink maybe because at home it always took twice as long and made a huge mess in the small bathroom where Jake worried about her lover's complaints little hairs all over the sink the floor the toothbrushes the bathtub the toilet even 6 bucks what was 6 bucks once a week? but it was too close to home a place for men and boys Jake was a woman moved up from the city a few years before who walked out that first visit to the Mainstreet Barbershop who drove around the country roads and small towns in her truck and shaved her own head

Once in the middle of the work day Jake drove her truck past the barber pole in Valie a run-down shot-gun wreck of a town she parked and walked into the shop and there was the dark mahogany paneling and there was Joe and there was Joe's daughter Angie at the other barber chair and there was Angie's Jack Russell Lucy sleeping on a bed right next to the chair at first Jake knew none of their names but later of course she did and there was that old man smell too but not as strong as it was at Mainstreet and a cut cost 10 dollars here not 6 the barber pole seemed festive perhaps a little Christmas-like and even though his daughter was working on a client and Joe's chair was empty Joe said I think you want my daughter Jake nodded without protest and waited until Angie finished working on a man who talked to her about her fiance Jake was a little worried because it was lunchtime and she might run late for her afternoon appointment but she waited anyway determined this time she looked at the walls papered with sepia repros of old barbershops young men standing out on stoops old men too and middle-aged Jake liked the one painting on the wall a painting of a table with barber tools everything on the table faced forward no perspective comb scissors clipper apron chair mirror one towel when Angie finally called her over to the chair Jake asked about the painting Joe piped up and said I did it A little hobby of mine Jake said she liked it and would love to see others which seemed to please Joe who then said he was also dabbled in Real Estate Angie asked Jake what she wanted and Jake said Short all over she could tell that Angie thought her hair was short already Jake clarified With the clippers Down to the scalp Angie said Okay and Jake said I like your dog as if on cue the little dog got up and sniffed Jake's pants and tried to jump onto Jake's lap Angie laughed she said Get down Lucy Lucy wagged her tail and got down and sat on her bed watching Angie cut Jake's hair Don't be afraid to go too short Jake said but she could tell that Angie was afraid Angie said I'll just do it this length first Jake observed the weight of the clippers in Angie's hand heavier and more professional than the clippers Jake used at home Angie said You can't get them like they used to make them Dad complains all the time and on the shortest setting Jake's hair got down to perhaps an eighth of an inch maybe a sixteenth almost short enough but Angie could not or would not go any further when she was done Jake ran her hands over her scalp her own best critic and found some patches where the hair seemed longer she said It seems longer here Angie felt Jake's scalp and said You're right and went back to shave those parts Jake did not check much further she did not want to make Angie feel bad it being the first time Angie brushed off Jake's head and pulled away the plastic smock covering her lap she rubbed Jake's skin hard with the towel and dug into her ears and still could not get off all the little black hairs no easy task even with baby powder when she was done Jake was so pleased that she finally had her first haircut at a barbershop that she walked out the door without paying she drove her truck all the way down the block before she realized what she had done and had to turn around to go back in and pay

The next week Jake came back and neither Angie nor Lucy were around only Joe was there with an empty chair and an empty shop so Jake sat herself down in the chair without asking and said again Don't be afraid to go too short and Joe said Okay and began to buzz Jake's head with his clippers which seemed to shave closer than Angie's Joe had more confidence in his hands perhaps from the thousands of boys and men he had shaved over the years Joe spoke about his mother and father settling in Valie from Sicily and how much he loved to paint and of course his ventures in Real Estate Jake said she might be interested in buying something cheap in the area so if Joe heard of anything to please let her know the door to the shop opened and Jake could see the customer in the mirror a tall fortyish man in a flannel shirt scraggly beard around his jaw line he said Hi to Joe and Joe said Hi back and Jake could see the man staring at the back of her head he sat down in a chair at the back of the shop to wait his turn and Joe said You want the back shaved? Jake said yes and Joe squeezed some hot shaving lotion out of his hot lotion canister and rubbed some on the back of Jake's neck and then dabbed some on her sideburns she liked the way it felt the Jake picked up his straight razor and sharpened it on the leather strop hanging on the back of the chair he shaved Jake's neck and sideburns wiping the excess lotion off with a towel he brushed Jake's head hard with a bristle brush scattering little black hairs everywhere again there were hairs in her ears along her chin but Jake did not mind because this time she was going home to take a shower she remembered to pay and wondered if the two men would talk about her when she left

Angie was just coming back from lunch and unlocking the door as Jake walked up to the shop one day once they were inside Angie let Lucy out of her arms Lucy ran over to Jake to say hello then ran around the shop like a wild dog Jake sat down in the chair it had almost been two weeks since the last haircut and her hair had grown quite a bit they talked and Angie said that she had new clippers which could get even closer than the last Jake said Great Try them and Angie did slowly working her way around Jake's head Jake chatted with her It looks great she said Angie said Yep It does the job It makes my father nervous to cut so close you know Why? Jake asked although she knew He just can't But he does pretty well Jake countered He seems a lot better about it now than he did when I first came in here Oh yeah Angie said He is more comfortable But it still makes him nervous You know he won't do those bowl cuts on the boys either The kind where they want it shaved completely up to a certain point then the hair hangs down? He'll say yes but then taper the back like he thinks it should be You figure he's been in the business for 50 years He just doesn't care and it's hard for him to change Me I don't mind Jake changed the subject and asked where Angie got Lucy Two guys in Pattenville she said They don't really breed their dogs but they happened to have a litter I had been looking and everything fell into place But these guys she said They're so great Luke's an interior designer travels all over the world and Mike stays home They don't have kids so their dogs are like their kids It's really great Lucy loves to go visit But you know I just don't get it they have so much money! Well it's all the 'disposable' income Jake said No kids But I don't have kids Angie said and I don't have their money But I do have a great idea for making money What? Jake asked Angie continued to cut and talk You know I go up to Albany with my friend Tony You know the bars You should see all those crossdressers Now you know they have money They have all the makeup expensive clothes the wigs But my god they dress like shit I think they need a consultant They always have the wrong shoes and they just have to get rid of those crooked wigs You wouldn't believe how bad they look Jake couldn't believe she was having this conversation here was straight-looking Angie talking about all the gay male cross-dressers she knew Jake had been coming to the shop for quite a while and she never suspected that Angie even knew a gay person let alone frequented gay bars she also knew that they would never be having this conversation if Joe were around Jake's hair had a definite Mohawk effect to it at this point Angie had managed to cut the sides away all that remained was a strip of longer hair down the middle Well Angie I think that's a great idea Why don't you do it? I should she said I could charge 50 dollars an hour Go for it Jake said I think you'd be great Jake took a chance and said There are a lot of cross-dressing women out there too you know Angie didn't miss a beat and continued to shave Jake's head Yeah Angie said It would be a great business We should both be consultants There are a lot of gray areas of gender out there They all need us Jake was floored that Angie used the word 'we' that she had somehow included Jake in her plans that she understood that gender had something to do with what they had just spent 15 minutes talking about Jake's scalp looked done shiny almost Angie seemed more intense about shaving Jake's hair than she had ever been before examining it closely for any stray hairs that might have escaped her clippers she admired Jake's head in the mirror and then took her over to the sink to rinse it off

Only once did Jake walk into the little barbershop in Greensport right at the entrance to Wal-Mart Jake was driving somewhere and again it was convenient shouldn't a haircut be convenient? wasn't it one of her reasons for going to a barbershop? utilitarian cheap no appointment necessary which was good especially if one needed a trim once a week Jake parked and walked in the door a clean place some paneling of course gel comb in dye a tall overweight man in a blue smock looked across the counter at her his hair and beard perfectly combed not a hair out of place slightly puffed on top he said Can I help you? to Jake as if he had no idea why she was there I need a haircut Jake said the man stared at her for a moment and then said I don't cut women What's the difference? Jake asked with all the confidence of her past haircuts at Joe's I just want it buzzed close all over the same cut you'd give to any man who walked in here Mr. Entrance to Wal-Mart said Sorry I just don't something about his manner made Jake wonder if he was gay the neat clothes the perfectly coifed hair the lilt in his voice the fact that the man did not want to deal with women at all Jake caught herself stereotyping the guy just as she knew people stereotyped her by her looks and manner she really knew nothing about him the barber went on to say My mother cuts hair and has a shop down the street and we have an agreement I can't just start taking business away from her but Jake would not let it drop Look she said Your mother would never cut my hair like I want it you know she wouldn't What's the difference? I'm in a hurry and just want a simple haircut the barber took a few seconds but finally said Okay Just this once and Jake had her haircut she sat there and wondered why it was so important to push the barber to cut her hair she could not completely answer the question except that she wanted to feel entitled to the same services that fully one-half of the country was entitled to she felt some victory in getting the barber to cut her hair even though he didn't go as short as she would have liked at least it was even all over it cost 7 bucks

Then one day because it didn't seem to matter anymore because it was convenient and because her lover was shopping down the street Jake walked back into Mainstreet the barber was finishing a client but no one else was waiting the two men paused in their conversation and the barber looked at Jake over his half-glasses he quickly looked back down at the hair he was cutting gray-white and wispy much longer than Jake's a hue that matched the pale green walls the barber's apron too a dull beige the barber himself looked faded and the same stale smell was there old magazines some dimestore paintings of deer and landscapes and an old TV Jake wondered if the barber ever turned the TV on no nostalgic photos but military eagle-patterned wallpaper covered the walls the linoleum on the floor looked old and worn when the man in the chair was done he got up and paid the barber his 6 bucks did he leave a tip? Jake did not tip Joe in Valie men did not seem to give tips to men it wasn't like a beauty shop did Jake's mother leave a tip at that place she had Jake's hair done when Jake was 5 or 6? probably Jake had just found the old family portrait while she was cleaning out one of her closets there she was in a stiff short dress and patent leather Mary-janes her hair pulled back from her head into its usual ponytail a worried look on her face the whole family look worried and only Grandma was smiling red-haired Grandma a little mauve in the old black-and-white proof of course Jake's mother must have give the beautician a tip for the fine curl she had put into Jake's hair Jake hardly wanted to show that picture to her lover who only knew her head shorn Jake's lover could not even imagine that Jake was once forced to be someone's little girl and gazed at her in wonder every time something historically feminine was mentioned and here now sat Jake in what she thought was the kind of place her father once frequented to have his hair trimmed crew cut and thick black glasses in that very same picture the days before he began to dye his premature gray and before he went to Mom's beauty salon to a beautician who figured out ways to hide his bald spot Jake's hair was silver on the sides maybe even white but now shaved so close it was hard to tell just a shadow of hair like the stubble of a beard her face sharper more masculine than the child in the picture perhaps just as worried

Jake stripped down to her T-shirt she felt a little chilled in the cool air of the barbershop then walked over and sat down in the leather barber chair as if she had been doing this all her life the barber's license said his name was Joe and Jake thought all barber's names must be Joe and here she was sitting in Joe II's chair with Joe II buttoning a smock around the back of her neck and she thought to herself if you just act like you expect something then everyone else will buy into it too the door opened and a client came in an old man with a cane who could barely walk but here he was and Joe said Hi and the man waved his cane and barely looked at Jake Jake said to Joe I want you to cut it as close as you can get but when Joe put the clippers down on her head they buzzed unevenly she could feel Joe miss places along her skull perhaps Joe was being careful as he was used to cutting wispy old men hairs on brittle old men scalps the chair glided on some kind of ball bearing like smooth oil the motion of the clippers slowly pushed Jake and the chair around to face Joe as he cut Jake asked Joe to go closer Joe got out his sideburn clippers Jake looked around no hot shaving cream here no leather strop no wonder a haircut in this place cost 6 bucks and the shop in Valie cost 10 Joe just clipped away leaving Jake's hair longer on top Jake said Could you cut it evenly all over? Jake could tell that Joe was trying to place her was she some kind of religious fanatic? Buddhist maybe? he finally asked and Jake said that she was a teacher Joe did not blink just gave a quick nod and kept cutting Joe asked what Jake taught Kids Jake said and she told him what kind of kids and Joe just nodded again and questioned her no further then he changed the subject Well we're all just looking forward to the end of the week They're predicting snow the man sitting across from them finally said something Marge sent me in to get it cut It's been a few months Joe nodded Yep It's that time and the man's white hair did look long to Jake and his pants looked too big the man kept talking to no one in particular I had to walk over here Marge took the car away from me Can't really see to drive anymore now Jake knew the man thought she was a boy because of his limited sight the door opened again this time it was Jake's lover she looked out of place walking into the dull room dressed in bright green and purple her cheeks red from the cold outside she smiled and looked around Not done yet? she asked Jake in the chair Jake said No Just getting started Joe said Cold out there? Jake's lover said Yep Starting to snow they seemed to like each other this Joe and Jake's lover who said she was leaving and would meet Jake down at the shoe store but before she left Jake saw her lover look around and take in the feel of the shop could she smell the scent of old men as strongly as Jake could? and would she mind it if she did? what did she think as she watched Joe deftly push Jake around in the chair? did she understand something more about Jake? about Joe I and Joe II and Mr. Entrance to Wal-Mart and all the stories Jake came home with after her various haircuts? would she too someday send Jake walking to the barbershop tempting falls on the ice because Jake could no longer see to drive? and would Jake sit across from Joe and tell him about it? Jake's lover walked out and a younger man and his son walked in the boy was about six long hair and from the moment hid dad took off the boy's coat the boy could not stop staring at Jake in the chair the boy seemed to know that Jake wasn't another boy but could not figure out exactly what she was he stared as if he had never seen such a being and he answered in grunts to his dad's attempts to get his attention Jake laughed to himself old man little boy Joe in his sixties and now this middle-aged father all here in the barbershop and it seemed like Joe was done and he started to vacuum Jake's head with the vacuum cleaner he had under the counter apparently just for that purpose the skin of Jake's head was stretched and sucked by the machine and when Joe was done Jake ran her hand over her scalp she felt a few rough places which she pointed out to Joe he clipped them back and she asked if she could use the sink to rinse off the hairs which hadn't been vacuumed away Sure Joe said and was kind enough to give her a towel the little boy continued to watch Jake's every move even as the old man sat in the barber chair and Joe started to talk about the weather Joe was very professional just did his job no matter who came in Jake thought to herself that she would ask next time about the history of the shop how old it was and what changes Joe had seen but then maybe she would never ask there was something good about talking weather and hunting seasons and county news about looking across the room at the dimestore pictures of deer on the walls about being one of the boys and men who simply walked in and for 6 bucks got a pretty good haircut.

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