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Time to Eat
Noon
Even though Ted & Ellen never imagined they'd move to Jersey, they're looking on the bright side. Ed & Robin, T & Nuni live there - and it's got the best damn diners in the world. So pay your propers to the short-order splendor of the Jersey Diner - it's fries-n-gravy with cigarettes on the side, blue-plate burgers and bottomless- cup coffee. In case you didn't know, a diner's where TW does all his record deals and interviews, and maybe even takes a quick shower - who knows?
While you're trying to avoid the spatter of the deep fryer, add your two cents to the age-old question of "what is a Diner?" Peruse the surprisingly large amount of print we found on the topic and posted in your booth.
On the radio: Nighthawks at the Diner
Bowling !!1:00pm
Ever since Ellen took him to the Bowling Hall of Fame for their first date, Ted's considered bowling the sport of romance. Well, you won't find the bowling-pin-shaped car here, but thanks to TW master carpenter Dana, you can spot the first outdoor duckpin alley in the world!!, complete with the thrill and and danger of manual pin-setting. "Pin Jockeys" apply within.
Sonic spare: Rain Dogs
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Chocolate Jesus 2:00pm
Alright, you were tempted by the 10-Commandment suckers, and the last supper cake mold, but in the end it had to be a chocolate Jesus. It's the TW Bake-along, where you can "get a little something that you can't get at home." Bring along some dark chocolate and sugar, we'll supply the candy thermometer and the Jesus mold. Together we'll whip up a batch, and then ponder the possibilities: do you eat the good Lord from top or bottom, or just scarf him down in one gulp?
Slaving over a hot stove: Mule Variations and a little get-down Gospel
What's He Building in There? 3:00pm
This is always a good question for Uncle Bob - a man who believes it's important to have bulldozers and schoolbuses for those "around the house" projects. Add to the confusion at the annual TW Art Opening, where as usual we're featuring the charlatan offspring of your creativity that got overlooked in Soho. True, some are here just to swipe the free wine and cheese, but this is the kind of captive audience any artist would kill for. So haul it on up to the house, and we'll help you mount it, whether it's your latest poem or your first piece of taxidermy.
And for Elks Club members, there'll be card tables set up in the lounge, and a special selection of TW Bootleg Videos and Small Change
The One that Got Away 4:00pm
Sure, you "coulda been on easy street" if you'd just gotten some breaks. Better grab this last chance to lose your equilibrium, car keys, and your pride by taking a whack at the pi–ata shaped like Tom's head. Inside you'll find all the stuff you lost under the floormats or in the couch cushions. Pay attention as se–orita Missy Cotton, bullhorn in hand, leaves you dizzy, blindfolded, and holding a bat.
Carnival Calliope: Swordfishtrombones Peepshow: Streetwise
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